This week's webinar is at 7 this evening, and yes, perhaps it's true that I just now got around to doing the workbook assignments. I respond very well to deadlines; I just often have that response within hours of said deadlines.
So here I am, going through the four exercises, and I'm finding myself a little overwhelmed. ("List things that make you who you are" -- so far we can write down "Procrastinator" and "Quick to Run Away from Problems"). I'm trying to write down some attributes, but the more I think about this exercise ("Over-thinker"), the more my attributes are starting to sound like a Match.com personal ad ("Likes Long Walks on the Beach and Nachos"). Saying simplistic attributes like "Sister" or "Writer" seem too bland and obvious; surely "Chilli Enthusiast," "Boggle Mastermind," and "Bearer of High Pain Tolerance" are far more colourful and entertaining. But why must I be colourful and entertaining in an exercise really only meant for my eyes? (Now adding "need to excel and please people" to my list).
Exercise two: defining which of these attributes are actual core identities versus merely labels haphazardly applied to me (or not so haphazardly, but I digress). Again, stumped, getting slightly annoyed with this process (now adding "Easily Frustrated"). How am I supposed to know which qualities are intrinsic and which are rules or beliefs? Can I pick and choose? I choose to believe that all positive things I've written down are intrinsic and all of the negative fluff isn't the real me. Sweet! Done!
Wait, that feels like cheating (adding "Painfully Honest" to the attribute list). Let's try this again. I really enjoy writing and it's a big part of how I express myself, how I conduct relationships with others, even how I obtain my livelihood; but isn't "writer" also a label and a behaviour? These gosh darned circles aren't as clear cut as they initially seem!
Suddenly the cheating isn't looking so bad. ("Good at rationalizing things. See also: can convince myself of most anything I desire.")
Let's just move on.
Exercise three: core identity statement. This could take years. I'm shelving this one. Next. (I already wrote down "Procrastinator," yes?)
Exercise four: Core Purposes. Or single purpose? We can have more than one, right? Regardless, I'm slightly confused by these "purpose(s)" -- are these supposed to be something we're currently identifying as a purpose, or more like a future goal? I have plenty of "purposes" right now, but at least 73% of those would fall under some kind of "negative behaviour pattern" that landed me in this program in the first place. I hardly think I should be meditating on those thoughts! Meanwhile, to say that my "purpose" is to sew clothes for homeless cats, well -- I'm not doing so well on fulfilling that life offering, am I? To say that that's my purpose seems downright mendacious. And I've already listed myself as "Painfully Honest."
What's a purposeful person who dislikes her purposes supposed to do with a giant list of Match.com qualifications, a couple of circles now more closely resembling a ven diagram, several scratched out identity statements, a doodle of a spider, and a looming deadline?
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This post proves one thing - you are an awesome writer! Too funny!! I love how your analysis of the exercises led to identifying some of the attributes of who you are. And I bet you'll come up with one hell of a core identity statement!
ReplyDeleteRhiannon wrote "Can I pick and choose? I choose to believe that all positive things I've written down are intrinsic and all of the negative fluff isn't the real me. Sweet! Done!"
ReplyDeleteI thought it was a good point and I was having the same quandary. When I brought it up in class we had a great debate about whether or not there can be negatives within our core. I had put quite a few negatives in my core and was relieved to know that Andy does not believe they should go there. Perhaps I am too hard on myself and they are just patterns....hmm, very interesting! I can see how this will help me improve my self-love if I can embody it.
This is a perfect thread for me to participate because I had/have a procrastinator thing going on in my life.
ReplyDeleteBack in the days of QDM, I was energized about all elements of life. I loved thinking up cool solutions to our customer's challenges and managing the development of software. Then after a series of disappointments ranging from having to shut down QDM, to a job selling solutions to the insurance industry the Monday after 9/11 and the rise and fall of Wingspeed, my zest for the daily challenge had waned. I often told myself that starting a Mental Fitness business was too hard. I would let tasks slip for days, week and months.
As I started applying the seven MP skills to my own life I discovered that my pattern of procrastination was linked to my competing nihilistic identity. That identity was shopping for evidence that life was hard and frequently redirected my awareness to my recent history that was not very rewarding (professionally).
But the fact of the matter is that this is a perfect example of how a competing identity can co-opt our awareness and find evidence that makes our reactions persist into moods, dispositions and ultimately limiting rules and beliefs about who we perceive ourselves to be.
By recognizing this, I was able to redirect my awareness towards my core identity and strengths/virtues and remind myself that I love discovering, creating and leading a team of people. When I focus on manifesting my Mental Fitness Network, I am connected to apparently infinite energy (i.e vitality).
And the feeling of accomplishment (i.e. fulfillment) as I see the plan unfolding is beyond wonderful. This is the work that supports my core identity.
Andy