Mental Pilates has been discussing the idea of Competing Identities -- Identities that take over our focus and ability to be fully-functioning TSA screeners. Sarah had brilliant descriptions of Competing Identities ranging from CEO of the Universe to Gloppy from Candy Land! I wanted to think of a few of mine, but since I'm no CEO of the Universe (instead, more like Project ADD Master of Distraction), I didn't quite get around to it.
I quickly threw a few thoughts together, trying to form a cohesive Competing Identity, and the closest I came to was this: The Eggshell Walker. (Like I said, I didn't actually get the whole thing fully thought through, and this includes the title; don't judge me).
I often feel that I live my life walking on eggshells, careful to never tip the apple cart, making no sudden movements, etc. -- choose your metaphor. All of this is in an effort to make people like me (don't say anything too weird or quirky around new friends! Don't appear too into a guy you like! Don't say anything at work lest it be stupid and wrong!). And the next thing I know, I feel like a watered down robot version of myself with no one ever getting to know the real me unless they wait around ten years for me to open up.
Then, during Tuesday's webinar, Andy said something that made me pause. He started talking about how our Competing Identities make us lose sight of our goals and thwart us on our paths toward achieving what we truly desire.
But hold up!, I thought. The whole reason I walk on eggshells is to achieve my goals! I want new friends to like me, I want to be in a lasting relationship, I want to succeed and be respected at work!
Granted, I recognize that Eggshell Walker ultimately hinders this process because I end up too scared to call people or open up lest I frighten them off, I'm so fearful of error at work that I rarely open my mouth unless I'm 100% sure of what I'm saying and it's been rehearsed 17 times in my head, and my crippling fear of failure often has me avoiding real life goals before I have the opportunity to discover that no one wants to publish my book.
So how do we reconcile when these Competing Identities actually do have the best of intentions... but ultimately lead us astray? If we're starting down a path saying, "surely this is the best method to achieving vitality!" at what point are we to stop, reassess, and realize we've somehow wandered off and are now bush-whacking through dis-ease? And how do we find our way back onto the path if we're the geniuses who decided to follow the advice of well-meaning but ultimately fraudulent Competing Identities in the first place?
More questions than answers here. Though this is probably just a symptom of my Project ADD Master of Distraction: ask a bunch of questions, go off on tangents, forget where I started, and then it's on to another idea. Oooh, look, a shiny object!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Good vs. Evil
Last nights webinar had many fascinating threads of conversation. One of the most interesting was a discussion about the philosophical debate about people being good vs. evil. Colin ended his Core identity Indemnification Statement with a phrase something like, "...and may I always choose the path of good as opposed to evil."
I responded with my assertion that "good" and "bad" are descriptions of the patterns that we develop rather than descriptions of our Core Identity. I asserted that our Core Identity was at a lower level than these behavior patterns and was inherently rooting for the formation of "good" patterns; those that served one's health and wellbeing. Colin retorted back using Hitler as an example of someone who had clearly passed over to the dark side of human nature.
We had to move on, but the conversation continued in my head throughout the night. In the language of Mental Pilates I frame this debate as follows. I argue that our Core Identity is initially "at the wheel" of the bus when we are born. Initially, we have no doubt about our identity and purpose as we "drive" the bus towards that which contributes to our health and wellbeing. We learn from our experience what it is we desire and what it is that we avoid.
Then, for various reasons, doubts about who we are and our purpose for being arise. Doubt fuels fear and uncertainty. This unsettling feeling dominates our awareness and distracts us from our pursuit of vitality. Overtime, our competing identities gain more and more momentum until, at last, they have taken the wheel of the bus and thrown your core identity out onto the road. One's awareness is now totally fixated on the agenda of the competing identity, which has co-opted your awareness and is off on a joyride.
Thus, the question of good vs. evil, in the language of Mental Pilates is; "Which identity is selecting the frames of awareness?" Whose on duty? When we let our competing identities do the selecting, we can develop patterns that clearly are "evil" in as much as they detract from the health and wellbeing of yourself and others.
I responded with my assertion that "good" and "bad" are descriptions of the patterns that we develop rather than descriptions of our Core Identity. I asserted that our Core Identity was at a lower level than these behavior patterns and was inherently rooting for the formation of "good" patterns; those that served one's health and wellbeing. Colin retorted back using Hitler as an example of someone who had clearly passed over to the dark side of human nature.
We had to move on, but the conversation continued in my head throughout the night. In the language of Mental Pilates I frame this debate as follows. I argue that our Core Identity is initially "at the wheel" of the bus when we are born. Initially, we have no doubt about our identity and purpose as we "drive" the bus towards that which contributes to our health and wellbeing. We learn from our experience what it is we desire and what it is that we avoid.
Then, for various reasons, doubts about who we are and our purpose for being arise. Doubt fuels fear and uncertainty. This unsettling feeling dominates our awareness and distracts us from our pursuit of vitality. Overtime, our competing identities gain more and more momentum until, at last, they have taken the wheel of the bus and thrown your core identity out onto the road. One's awareness is now totally fixated on the agenda of the competing identity, which has co-opted your awareness and is off on a joyride. Thus, the question of good vs. evil, in the language of Mental Pilates is; "Which identity is selecting the frames of awareness?" Whose on duty? When we let our competing identities do the selecting, we can develop patterns that clearly are "evil" in as much as they detract from the health and wellbeing of yourself and others.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
From the Consulate of Mental Pilates
I hereby declare that my core identity has diplomatic immunity.
That is all.
That is all.
Is it hot in here, or is it me?
I've discovered my identity icon (yay!). And I've long since known my happy place (cartoon yay!). But what happens when these two concepts don't mesh well together?
I've had a few stressors in the past week. Remember my father's evil cat I mentioned? And remember how I'm always complaining about parking woes because my beloved car only deserves the safest spots? Yeah, combine those two issues: devil cat urinated in my precious car. Words cannot describe the ensuing rage.
Quick: time for some Mental Pilates (and perhaps a shot of whiskey, but I digress).
Focus on my identity icon; think quilt. Go to my happy place; I'm at Disney World. Wait, what?
One does not wrap one's self in quilts at Disney World! This is ludicrous!
Maybe I need to stop being so literal. How about I think about spending time with Grandmother, the master quilter, and being inspired by her strength and love? In Disney World?
Ack!
Too confusing.
But at least it was enough to distract me temporarily from plotting murder on a cat.
I've had a few stressors in the past week. Remember my father's evil cat I mentioned? And remember how I'm always complaining about parking woes because my beloved car only deserves the safest spots? Yeah, combine those two issues: devil cat urinated in my precious car. Words cannot describe the ensuing rage.
Quick: time for some Mental Pilates (and perhaps a shot of whiskey, but I digress).
Focus on my identity icon; think quilt. Go to my happy place; I'm at Disney World. Wait, what?
One does not wrap one's self in quilts at Disney World! This is ludicrous!
Maybe I need to stop being so literal. How about I think about spending time with Grandmother, the master quilter, and being inspired by her strength and love? In Disney World?
Ack!
Too confusing.
But at least it was enough to distract me temporarily from plotting murder on a cat.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
By jove, I think we've got it!*
As I mentioned in Tuesday's webinar, I was still having some difficulty coming up with an identity icon. I was initially leaning toward Alice, but as Andy pointed out, my identity icon should be an inspiration -- not an image that I currently identify with because I'm also lost in my own world and too curious for my own good. They have a saying about that; spoiler alert: it doesn't end well for cats.
Yet try as I might, I just couldn't come up with an ideal icon.
I love WALL-E the robot's ingenuity and belief in love, but his best friend is a cockroach.
The Cheshire Cat is great, but he's even loonier than I am.
I suppose I don't have to stick with a Disney character; how about the mythical goddess Rhiannon herself? Sure, she was accused of killing her child or something, but I do believe she was eventually acquitted. Nah...
Hercule Poirot? I don't know; he was a bit too fond of his mustaches for my liking.
For every character or figure I thought of, after initially saying a mental, "yeah, that's it!" to their good qualities, I started to remember their bad qualities, criminal history, and possible substance abuse problems (Tinkerbelle hit that pixie dust pretty hard, don't you think?).
I was becoming frustrated, wishing I could just hand select the various traits and qualities I was seeking, creating a mosaic amalgamation of some perfect being that inspires me. A patchwork of pieces sewn together like Frankenstein's monster, but... you know... not a monster. Like a... like a quilt! Yes, that's it! A quilt!
A beautiful work of art, a result of hard work, and the combination of multiple pieces brought together to make an even lovelier whole. Something that reminds me of my beloved grandmother, something that has always represented comfort, warmth, and love in my life. I want to be a quilt!*
*I can use an inanimate object, right? Right?!? If you say no, it's back to the drawing board, and I can't promise anyone that I won't just go ahead and settle on Cruella DeVille; she had a pretty sweet ride and a killer fashion sense. You've been warned.
Yet try as I might, I just couldn't come up with an ideal icon.
I love WALL-E the robot's ingenuity and belief in love, but his best friend is a cockroach.
The Cheshire Cat is great, but he's even loonier than I am.
I suppose I don't have to stick with a Disney character; how about the mythical goddess Rhiannon herself? Sure, she was accused of killing her child or something, but I do believe she was eventually acquitted. Nah...
Hercule Poirot? I don't know; he was a bit too fond of his mustaches for my liking.
For every character or figure I thought of, after initially saying a mental, "yeah, that's it!" to their good qualities, I started to remember their bad qualities, criminal history, and possible substance abuse problems (Tinkerbelle hit that pixie dust pretty hard, don't you think?).
I was becoming frustrated, wishing I could just hand select the various traits and qualities I was seeking, creating a mosaic amalgamation of some perfect being that inspires me. A patchwork of pieces sewn together like Frankenstein's monster, but... you know... not a monster. Like a... like a quilt! Yes, that's it! A quilt!
A beautiful work of art, a result of hard work, and the combination of multiple pieces brought together to make an even lovelier whole. Something that reminds me of my beloved grandmother, something that has always represented comfort, warmth, and love in my life. I want to be a quilt!*
*I can use an inanimate object, right? Right?!? If you say no, it's back to the drawing board, and I can't promise anyone that I won't just go ahead and settle on Cruella DeVille; she had a pretty sweet ride and a killer fashion sense. You've been warned.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Cheating or Efficiency?
I'll confess that I haven't been the best about awareness journaling. It's not for the lack of awareness, the lack of love for writing, or even the lack of a journal (I have a lovely one with Wonder Woman on the cover; I'd say she's pretty vital, yes?). I just can't seem to remember to end the day with note-taking; I prefer to the end the day with a cocktail and TiVo, but to each their own.
As I sat this morning thinking about how to make up for weeks' worth of lost entries and/or come up with a good excuse (my cats ate my journal?), it occurred to me that, in a way, I had been keeping an awareness journal this whole time -- my blog.
I keep a personal blog that I write in at least once a day, sometimes as many as six times a day if the mood strikes. And it's just that -- my mood -- that really is the essence of the "frames" that Andy talks about.
I don't sit down and say, "okay, Rhiannon, it's blogging time. What shall we discuss today? Think, think, think... the weather? Okay, go." No -- I go about my day as I do every day, and when something catches my attention, or something has been weighing on my mind, that's when I pause, open up my blog, write it down, and once finished, then go on with my day.
A simple survey of my blog topics of the past week will show you that on Thursday I was thwarted by an irritation of my father invading my personal space. This was preceded Wednesday by my happy-go-lucky evening being derailed by my father's evil cat (I'm taking care of her for a few months while he is between homes) breaking glass and otherwise wreaking havoc in my house. It wasn't all negative father-related frames, though. I also enjoyed whimsical observations whilst on a business trip (for a good time, I recommend reading SkyMall from cover to cover), as well as warmth and a feeling of vitality from nearly being smothered by my large cats on a lazy Sunday morning.
Sure, these vignettes aren't being written down on paper with Wonder Woman boldly guarding the cover, and they're not specifically designed to analyze my daily train of thought, but much like dreams can offer hints to deeper issues lurking beneath the surface, I think that my blog -- even if the post is merely discussing the virtues of SkyMall's selection of spy gear -- offers much the same coded message.
And on the plus side, my blog always provides a filter for me to know when my thoughts are teetering on the edge of distracted to fully co-opted, as I realize that writing the third post in so many days on how I want to "accidentally" lose my father's cat would come across as just plain repetitive. Mental health/fresh topics for blogging -- whatever it is, it's more than Wonder Woman could provide me.
As I sat this morning thinking about how to make up for weeks' worth of lost entries and/or come up with a good excuse (my cats ate my journal?), it occurred to me that, in a way, I had been keeping an awareness journal this whole time -- my blog.
I keep a personal blog that I write in at least once a day, sometimes as many as six times a day if the mood strikes. And it's just that -- my mood -- that really is the essence of the "frames" that Andy talks about.
I don't sit down and say, "okay, Rhiannon, it's blogging time. What shall we discuss today? Think, think, think... the weather? Okay, go." No -- I go about my day as I do every day, and when something catches my attention, or something has been weighing on my mind, that's when I pause, open up my blog, write it down, and once finished, then go on with my day.
A simple survey of my blog topics of the past week will show you that on Thursday I was thwarted by an irritation of my father invading my personal space. This was preceded Wednesday by my happy-go-lucky evening being derailed by my father's evil cat (I'm taking care of her for a few months while he is between homes) breaking glass and otherwise wreaking havoc in my house. It wasn't all negative father-related frames, though. I also enjoyed whimsical observations whilst on a business trip (for a good time, I recommend reading SkyMall from cover to cover), as well as warmth and a feeling of vitality from nearly being smothered by my large cats on a lazy Sunday morning.
Sure, these vignettes aren't being written down on paper with Wonder Woman boldly guarding the cover, and they're not specifically designed to analyze my daily train of thought, but much like dreams can offer hints to deeper issues lurking beneath the surface, I think that my blog -- even if the post is merely discussing the virtues of SkyMall's selection of spy gear -- offers much the same coded message.
And on the plus side, my blog always provides a filter for me to know when my thoughts are teetering on the edge of distracted to fully co-opted, as I realize that writing the third post in so many days on how I want to "accidentally" lose my father's cat would come across as just plain repetitive. Mental health/fresh topics for blogging -- whatever it is, it's more than Wonder Woman could provide me.
Curiouser and Curiouser
When trying to come up with my Core Identity Icon, my very first thought was to choose Alice (of Wonderland notoriety), who happens to already be my childhood (and possibly current) obsession and avatar. I thought momentarily about using Andy's idea of identifying my one of my pets as my icon, but while I admire Dizzy's (my Siamese) ravenous foodie love for all the world's culinary offerings, I wouldn't say that I also align with his phobia of pretty much anything other than food, a laser pointer, and me. He and I are both special, but in different ways.
No, Alice, though the easy choice, also seems to be the most fitting. I'd say I'm quite curious, often lost in my own world, possess a vivid imagination, and always attempt impeccable manners.
However, as I was writing down these various traits as a means of justification lest I look like I'm pulling easy answers out of my rear, I realized that all of these like traits were just that -- like traits. Is my Core Identity Icon supposed to be someone I identify with or someone with whom I'd like to identify in the future, someone I aspire to be more like? I love Alice and all, but I'm not sure my goal in life is to be blissfully surrounded by madness (even though that may very well end up being my reality).
For the time being, I'll assume I'm on the right track and keep going. After all, that's what Alice would do.
No, Alice, though the easy choice, also seems to be the most fitting. I'd say I'm quite curious, often lost in my own world, possess a vivid imagination, and always attempt impeccable manners.
However, as I was writing down these various traits as a means of justification lest I look like I'm pulling easy answers out of my rear, I realized that all of these like traits were just that -- like traits. Is my Core Identity Icon supposed to be someone I identify with or someone with whom I'd like to identify in the future, someone I aspire to be more like? I love Alice and all, but I'm not sure my goal in life is to be blissfully surrounded by madness (even though that may very well end up being my reality).
For the time being, I'll assume I'm on the right track and keep going. After all, that's what Alice would do.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Journaling; its not so scary
Someone in Tuesday night's class asked to see some examples of awareness journal posts so I am going to post a melange of mine. I have been awareness journaling for about 8 months, and I slowly got past the point where journaling was intimidating. I actually like it now. My little disclaimer/remark is that this style works for me, but it may not work for you. I explored a bunch of styles until I found myself looking forward to the process.
1/23
Today must have slid by fairly unconsiously...I have no real frames that stick out. It wasn't a particularly good or bad day, I just kinda did it...I need to practice being present!
1/27
I am much more present/observant when walking the dogs. I noticed a great tree on Foss HIll that I must have walked by 1,000 times.
1/28
Picked up Lily from groomer. She was so cute. She always makes me smile!
When I feel like napping, I should try yoga first! Napping saps my vitality.
2/17
Big smile when seeing Anthony win challenge on Project Runway. Its silly, but it is just thrilling to watch pure excitement; even from a distance.
7/27
When Phoebe left I lay on my bed like a rag doll which was pretty unfulfilling. Called mom back & casually mentioned kickboxing. Did about 15 mins of kickboxing tape, made sound effects, defeated the funk.
Hope that scratched any voyeuristic itches that y'all might have as well as demystify the journaling process.
As I typed this up, I was reminded of a children's book called Diary of a Wombat. I couldn't find a great video, but since I wanted to share it, you can listen to this nice grandfather read the book.
1/23
Today must have slid by fairly unconsiously...I have no real frames that stick out. It wasn't a particularly good or bad day, I just kinda did it...I need to practice being present!
1/27
I am much more present/observant when walking the dogs. I noticed a great tree on Foss HIll that I must have walked by 1,000 times.
1/28
Picked up Lily from groomer. She was so cute. She always makes me smile!
When I feel like napping, I should try yoga first! Napping saps my vitality.
2/17
Big smile when seeing Anthony win challenge on Project Runway. Its silly, but it is just thrilling to watch pure excitement; even from a distance.
7/27
When Phoebe left I lay on my bed like a rag doll which was pretty unfulfilling. Called mom back & casually mentioned kickboxing. Did about 15 mins of kickboxing tape, made sound effects, defeated the funk.
Hope that scratched any voyeuristic itches that y'all might have as well as demystify the journaling process.
As I typed this up, I was reminded of a children's book called Diary of a Wombat. I couldn't find a great video, but since I wanted to share it, you can listen to this nice grandfather read the book.
Understanding the Connection - By Maureen
As I know theres no wrong or right answers is a nice was of allowing us all to feel we can say anything we want. But we all know how thats not always ok. I guess this is the safe place to be able to do so. Being forced to write down the times in our life we felt most connected is like going to the gym. Don't really want to go but once I'm there I'm fine...usually. I'm always tempted to put myself down for what I didn't do and less apt to pat myself on the back for all that I've accomplished. I feel like I'm working my way back to the" happy place". Life's tragedies seem to have taken a front seat for so long it's changed who I am. Not a bad person, but not the go getting, fun loving person everyone used to love to be around. I'd rather just stay home and be alone sometimes rather than go out and have to put on a show.
Today, being my birthday I reflect on how it used to be so much fun, so many friends calling and singing (horribly lol) is getting less and less with each passing year. I remember in younger years I celebrated throughout the month because everyone wanted to show their appreciation and love for me that I and dubbed the month Motober. That was the same year it rolled into Movember! So many friends, so little time! Where do they go as we get older? And then I realize, they may be feeling they're own struggles. Not that they dont want to or they forget but they're just like me only with familes and extended familes, how can they find the time? It makes me feel better understanding I'm not alone, and I'm not the only one who struggles with the changing of responsibilites with each passing year.
It is my turn to take charge and understand we're all in this together. The gift I now have and the responsibility to be there as challenging as it may be is to be well and not take things personally. I have this to offer (MP)! I have shared this program with quite a few people who I think may gain strength in using these tools for a more peaceful life...and those that will say "I'm just too busy". I understand that bringing myself back to those days when I felt an true sense of self and love within will be and always has been my gift. I just got lost for awhile. I truly can understand the connection and why I'm here, I just need to be disciplined in encourage myself to not be afraid.
Maureen
Today, being my birthday I reflect on how it used to be so much fun, so many friends calling and singing (horribly lol) is getting less and less with each passing year. I remember in younger years I celebrated throughout the month because everyone wanted to show their appreciation and love for me that I and dubbed the month Motober. That was the same year it rolled into Movember! So many friends, so little time! Where do they go as we get older? And then I realize, they may be feeling they're own struggles. Not that they dont want to or they forget but they're just like me only with familes and extended familes, how can they find the time? It makes me feel better understanding I'm not alone, and I'm not the only one who struggles with the changing of responsibilites with each passing year.
It is my turn to take charge and understand we're all in this together. The gift I now have and the responsibility to be there as challenging as it may be is to be well and not take things personally. I have this to offer (MP)! I have shared this program with quite a few people who I think may gain strength in using these tools for a more peaceful life...and those that will say "I'm just too busy". I understand that bringing myself back to those days when I felt an true sense of self and love within will be and always has been my gift. I just got lost for awhile. I truly can understand the connection and why I'm here, I just need to be disciplined in encourage myself to not be afraid.
Maureen
Monday, October 4, 2010
Think of a wonderful thought, any happy little thought...
Saturday evening I came home to find my neighbour again parked in my spot. This would be the fourth time in less than two weeks. I angrily parked directly behind her, blocking her in, swearing as I did so and mentally daring her to wake me up the next morning to ask me to move. That night, as I laid in bed trying to sleep, I found that I couldn't -- all I could think of over and over and over again was what I would say to this [redacted] should she try and confront me.
I realized at that moment that I was most certainly in a state of disease and decided to use this opportunity to work on this week's exercises two and three -- trying to rein in my unhappy thoughts that were quickly spiraling out of control from a merely heated conversation to sudden thoughts of sugar in gas tanks.
Exercise #2: Recalling a moment of being at ease -- "at ease" as defined by being "fully aware and just taking in experience, absent any anxiety, fear or
doubt."
Alright, I said to myself as I tossed and turned and simmered, I can do this. What's a pretty great "at ease" moment that I can recall? How about Disney World? I'm always at ease and fully immersed in enjoying the moment there. Disney World is most certainly my happy place.
Disney World Disney World Disney World. Focusing. Happy. One does not have to worry about cars and parking spots in Disney World. Happy happy Disney World. Yes.
But wait -- wasn't the point of this exercise to be present in the moment? I'm not presently in Disney World (unfortunately). And the moment I am in, well... it's causing me anxiety!
I was back to being completely awake and seething.
How about we skip ahead to Exercise #3: Developing a procedure to bring me back to a state of ease. And lo, what's this? Andy says, "There is no right or wrong method of achieving this state of being." Sweet! It's fool-proof! Y'all know what that means: back to Disney World I mentally go!
And so I did. I pictured the bright, technicolour setting, the familiar songs played out over the parks, the smells of old fashioned candy shoppes and popcorn stands, and the general feeling that you're in a magical land where there is no negativity, no sadness, your neighbours invite you to mad tea parties, and everything has a happy ending.
I feel like Exercise #2 versus Exercise #3 is the equivalent of the time-old choice: (mental) fight or flight? I chose flight -- enhanced with pixie dust and getting "You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!" stuck in my head.
Ultimately I fell asleep with a smile on my face. (I wish I could say I dreamed that night of mermaids and mischievous ticking crocodiles, but instead I had a nightmare that my car was destroyed in a volcanic eruption; baby steps to mental tranquility... baby steps...). I'm not sure I entirely captured the point of Exercise #2, but if I'm really getting the hang of #3, that must count for something, right? At least, that's what I tell myself in order to sleep at night whilst humming Disney tunes.
I realized at that moment that I was most certainly in a state of disease and decided to use this opportunity to work on this week's exercises two and three -- trying to rein in my unhappy thoughts that were quickly spiraling out of control from a merely heated conversation to sudden thoughts of sugar in gas tanks.
Exercise #2: Recalling a moment of being at ease -- "at ease" as defined by being "fully aware and just taking in experience, absent any anxiety, fear or
doubt."
Alright, I said to myself as I tossed and turned and simmered, I can do this. What's a pretty great "at ease" moment that I can recall? How about Disney World? I'm always at ease and fully immersed in enjoying the moment there. Disney World is most certainly my happy place.
Disney World Disney World Disney World. Focusing. Happy. One does not have to worry about cars and parking spots in Disney World. Happy happy Disney World. Yes.
But wait -- wasn't the point of this exercise to be present in the moment? I'm not presently in Disney World (unfortunately). And the moment I am in, well... it's causing me anxiety!
I was back to being completely awake and seething.
How about we skip ahead to Exercise #3: Developing a procedure to bring me back to a state of ease. And lo, what's this? Andy says, "There is no right or wrong method of achieving this state of being." Sweet! It's fool-proof! Y'all know what that means: back to Disney World I mentally go!
And so I did. I pictured the bright, technicolour setting, the familiar songs played out over the parks, the smells of old fashioned candy shoppes and popcorn stands, and the general feeling that you're in a magical land where there is no negativity, no sadness, your neighbours invite you to mad tea parties, and everything has a happy ending.
I feel like Exercise #2 versus Exercise #3 is the equivalent of the time-old choice: (mental) fight or flight? I chose flight -- enhanced with pixie dust and getting "You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!" stuck in my head.
Ultimately I fell asleep with a smile on my face. (I wish I could say I dreamed that night of mermaids and mischievous ticking crocodiles, but instead I had a nightmare that my car was destroyed in a volcanic eruption; baby steps to mental tranquility... baby steps...). I'm not sure I entirely captured the point of Exercise #2, but if I'm really getting the hang of #3, that must count for something, right? At least, that's what I tell myself in order to sleep at night whilst humming Disney tunes.
Friday, October 1, 2010
There are no bad dogs -- just bad-ish dogs
I wanted to take a moment to expound upon a concept brought up during Tuesday's webinar: Andy thinks there are no "bad" core qualities? Hold the phone...
I'm not here to assert how we inherit our intrinsic values -- be it genetic predispositions, the tabula rasa affected by environmental factors, or a horned god with a magic wand. But regardless of which way you slice it, there's good and bad.
If you'd like to make the argument that I was born with an intrinsic creative side, why can't we also say that I was born with an intrinsic antisocial side?
Likewise if you're batting for the nurture over nature, just as I've developed psychological patterns to make me a humourous person, so too have I developed psychological patterns to make me want to throw walnuts at my neighbours when they park in my spot.
And the horned god argument, well... maybe he's more of a wild card.
But there's a balance, a yin and a yang. The same sources that make us loving people (whether it's genes, upbringing, or celestial pixie dust) have the same ability to make us untrusting or selfish.
Granted I don't think we need to harp on these negative aspects or use them as excuses for bad behaviour (gee, I'm sorry I threw that walnut through your windshield, Shayla, but I was born with deeply territorial instincts; now move your car), but I do think we need to acknowledge that they exist.
If you don't, I'm going back to my original assertion that I'll just say that all of my positive qualities are core qualities and the bad stuff is junk labeling; don't make a cheater out of me!
I'm not here to assert how we inherit our intrinsic values -- be it genetic predispositions, the tabula rasa affected by environmental factors, or a horned god with a magic wand. But regardless of which way you slice it, there's good and bad.
If you'd like to make the argument that I was born with an intrinsic creative side, why can't we also say that I was born with an intrinsic antisocial side?
Likewise if you're batting for the nurture over nature, just as I've developed psychological patterns to make me a humourous person, so too have I developed psychological patterns to make me want to throw walnuts at my neighbours when they park in my spot.
And the horned god argument, well... maybe he's more of a wild card.
But there's a balance, a yin and a yang. The same sources that make us loving people (whether it's genes, upbringing, or celestial pixie dust) have the same ability to make us untrusting or selfish.
Granted I don't think we need to harp on these negative aspects or use them as excuses for bad behaviour (gee, I'm sorry I threw that walnut through your windshield, Shayla, but I was born with deeply territorial instincts; now move your car), but I do think we need to acknowledge that they exist.
If you don't, I'm going back to my original assertion that I'll just say that all of my positive qualities are core qualities and the bad stuff is junk labeling; don't make a cheater out of me!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
True Confessions of a Procrastinator (among other labels)
This week's webinar is at 7 this evening, and yes, perhaps it's true that I just now got around to doing the workbook assignments. I respond very well to deadlines; I just often have that response within hours of said deadlines.
So here I am, going through the four exercises, and I'm finding myself a little overwhelmed. ("List things that make you who you are" -- so far we can write down "Procrastinator" and "Quick to Run Away from Problems"). I'm trying to write down some attributes, but the more I think about this exercise ("Over-thinker"), the more my attributes are starting to sound like a Match.com personal ad ("Likes Long Walks on the Beach and Nachos"). Saying simplistic attributes like "Sister" or "Writer" seem too bland and obvious; surely "Chilli Enthusiast," "Boggle Mastermind," and "Bearer of High Pain Tolerance" are far more colourful and entertaining. But why must I be colourful and entertaining in an exercise really only meant for my eyes? (Now adding "need to excel and please people" to my list).
Exercise two: defining which of these attributes are actual core identities versus merely labels haphazardly applied to me (or not so haphazardly, but I digress). Again, stumped, getting slightly annoyed with this process (now adding "Easily Frustrated"). How am I supposed to know which qualities are intrinsic and which are rules or beliefs? Can I pick and choose? I choose to believe that all positive things I've written down are intrinsic and all of the negative fluff isn't the real me. Sweet! Done!
Wait, that feels like cheating (adding "Painfully Honest" to the attribute list). Let's try this again. I really enjoy writing and it's a big part of how I express myself, how I conduct relationships with others, even how I obtain my livelihood; but isn't "writer" also a label and a behaviour? These gosh darned circles aren't as clear cut as they initially seem!
Suddenly the cheating isn't looking so bad. ("Good at rationalizing things. See also: can convince myself of most anything I desire.")
Let's just move on.
Exercise three: core identity statement. This could take years. I'm shelving this one. Next. (I already wrote down "Procrastinator," yes?)
Exercise four: Core Purposes. Or single purpose? We can have more than one, right? Regardless, I'm slightly confused by these "purpose(s)" -- are these supposed to be something we're currently identifying as a purpose, or more like a future goal? I have plenty of "purposes" right now, but at least 73% of those would fall under some kind of "negative behaviour pattern" that landed me in this program in the first place. I hardly think I should be meditating on those thoughts! Meanwhile, to say that my "purpose" is to sew clothes for homeless cats, well -- I'm not doing so well on fulfilling that life offering, am I? To say that that's my purpose seems downright mendacious. And I've already listed myself as "Painfully Honest."
What's a purposeful person who dislikes her purposes supposed to do with a giant list of Match.com qualifications, a couple of circles now more closely resembling a ven diagram, several scratched out identity statements, a doodle of a spider, and a looming deadline?
So here I am, going through the four exercises, and I'm finding myself a little overwhelmed. ("List things that make you who you are" -- so far we can write down "Procrastinator" and "Quick to Run Away from Problems"). I'm trying to write down some attributes, but the more I think about this exercise ("Over-thinker"), the more my attributes are starting to sound like a Match.com personal ad ("Likes Long Walks on the Beach and Nachos"). Saying simplistic attributes like "Sister" or "Writer" seem too bland and obvious; surely "Chilli Enthusiast," "Boggle Mastermind," and "Bearer of High Pain Tolerance" are far more colourful and entertaining. But why must I be colourful and entertaining in an exercise really only meant for my eyes? (Now adding "need to excel and please people" to my list).
Exercise two: defining which of these attributes are actual core identities versus merely labels haphazardly applied to me (or not so haphazardly, but I digress). Again, stumped, getting slightly annoyed with this process (now adding "Easily Frustrated"). How am I supposed to know which qualities are intrinsic and which are rules or beliefs? Can I pick and choose? I choose to believe that all positive things I've written down are intrinsic and all of the negative fluff isn't the real me. Sweet! Done!
Wait, that feels like cheating (adding "Painfully Honest" to the attribute list). Let's try this again. I really enjoy writing and it's a big part of how I express myself, how I conduct relationships with others, even how I obtain my livelihood; but isn't "writer" also a label and a behaviour? These gosh darned circles aren't as clear cut as they initially seem!
Suddenly the cheating isn't looking so bad. ("Good at rationalizing things. See also: can convince myself of most anything I desire.")
Let's just move on.
Exercise three: core identity statement. This could take years. I'm shelving this one. Next. (I already wrote down "Procrastinator," yes?)
Exercise four: Core Purposes. Or single purpose? We can have more than one, right? Regardless, I'm slightly confused by these "purpose(s)" -- are these supposed to be something we're currently identifying as a purpose, or more like a future goal? I have plenty of "purposes" right now, but at least 73% of those would fall under some kind of "negative behaviour pattern" that landed me in this program in the first place. I hardly think I should be meditating on those thoughts! Meanwhile, to say that my "purpose" is to sew clothes for homeless cats, well -- I'm not doing so well on fulfilling that life offering, am I? To say that that's my purpose seems downright mendacious. And I've already listed myself as "Painfully Honest."
What's a purposeful person who dislikes her purposes supposed to do with a giant list of Match.com qualifications, a couple of circles now more closely resembling a ven diagram, several scratched out identity statements, a doodle of a spider, and a looming deadline?
Character Strengths and Virtues
Hello Mental Pilates warriors!!
Has anybody had a chance to take the strengths and virtues survey? I just retook mine and my strengths have shifted slightly. I believe it is in parallel with the growth of Mental Pilates. It is exciting to see the concept of Mental Fitness take-off. I appreciate everyone's contribution.
Here are my results:
Pretty much right on the money, from where I sit. The one that has entered for the first time is #3) Leadership. I believe that is from the renewed experience of running a business for which I am deeply passionate.
I'm not sure how #1) Creativity, ingenuity & originality is very different from #5) Curiosity and interest in the world. To me, this are intrinsically linked but I do not mind getting double credit!!!
Share your experience and let us know if there were any surprises! For you MP veterans, take the survey again and see if there have been any shifts in your strengths and virtues.
Andy
Has anybody had a chance to take the strengths and virtues survey? I just retook mine and my strengths have shifted slightly. I believe it is in parallel with the growth of Mental Pilates. It is exciting to see the concept of Mental Fitness take-off. I appreciate everyone's contribution.
Here are my results:
I'm not sure how #1) Creativity, ingenuity & originality is very different from #5) Curiosity and interest in the world. To me, this are intrinsically linked but I do not mind getting double credit!!!
Share your experience and let us know if there were any surprises! For you MP veterans, take the survey again and see if there have been any shifts in your strengths and virtues.
Andy
Monday, September 27, 2010
No Bad Questions!!!
I know how new experiences are slightly awkward, at first. Many of you have had questions about the exercises in the week one workbook. I am delighted to answer any and all questions via. e-mail, but I also wanted everyone to know that the blog is an even better medium than e-mail for many questions.
People are sometimes relieved to know that others have questions and it helps reassure them that they are not alone in their confusion. There are no bad questions...so ask away!!!
Andy
People are sometimes relieved to know that others have questions and it helps reassure them that they are not alone in their confusion. There are no bad questions...so ask away!!!
Andy
Friday, September 24, 2010
True Confessions of a homeworkophile
When asked if I was type A, my little brother would respond "No, she's type A plus." It is possible that he isn't exaggerating, at least in the homework realm. I love dotting my I's and crossing my T's so to speak and a workbook to fill out is way more exciting than it should be. I printed out the workbook yesterday and began the exercises. I was surprised to find though, that exercise one was more than filling something out and crossing it off in my planner...I kept on thinking about it for the rest of the day. I was haunted by the assignment, but in a good way.
Let me explain. I sat down with the blank sheet and came up with about 20 attributes before calling it a day. Most of them were labels like "sister", "grant-writer", and "MBA student"...coming up with them was really easy. I guess my psyche was not satisfied that I reduced myself to these 20 terms, because throughout the day I kept thinking of more and more things. Being type A+, I of course whipped out my workbook each time and neatly jotted it down with the same pen I had used for the rest of my entries. What was interesting though is that they became more and more complex as the day went on. In having to define myself to complete the assignment, I actually had to define myself for myself. I ended with much more revealing entries like "I am afraid of being alone", " I would do anything for my friends", and "I need some downtime/alonetime each day in order to thrive." I was just wondering if the assignment has caused anyone else to "scratch the surface" so to speak.
~ Sarah
Let me explain. I sat down with the blank sheet and came up with about 20 attributes before calling it a day. Most of them were labels like "sister", "grant-writer", and "MBA student"...coming up with them was really easy. I guess my psyche was not satisfied that I reduced myself to these 20 terms, because throughout the day I kept thinking of more and more things. Being type A+, I of course whipped out my workbook each time and neatly jotted it down with the same pen I had used for the rest of my entries. What was interesting though is that they became more and more complex as the day went on. In having to define myself to complete the assignment, I actually had to define myself for myself. I ended with much more revealing entries like "I am afraid of being alone", " I would do anything for my friends", and "I need some downtime/alonetime each day in order to thrive." I was just wondering if the assignment has caused anyone else to "scratch the surface" so to speak.
~ Sarah
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Bad hair days, control issues, and Frisbees
It's official -- the day I never thought would arrive showed up with bells on yesterday: I attended my first Mental Pilates webinar session.
Now, just to set a couple of facts straight:
1. In no way am I claiming to be flawless and lacking the need for personal improvements, keys to happiness, or an overall mental health extreme makeover.
2. In no way am I implying that Mental Pilates can't aid in personal improvements, provide keys to happiness, or help with mental health makeovers.
I'm just dubious as to whether Mental Pilates can do all of this for me. I'm a hard nut to crack. Emphasis on the term "nut."
The hairs on the back of my neck first started to prick up when Andy began speaking about community involvement, asserting that only when secured in a community and establishing social connections can we feel at ease. At ease?! With people around me? That's when I'm the least at ease.
I thrive in solitude. I don't judge me or the extra weight I'd like to lose; I don't need to wear a perfectly accessorized ensemble to impress myself; I don't need to say the wittiest statement to entertain myself; and I certainly don't need to go out of my way to accomplish X, Y, and Z in order to feel successful or brilliant. I'm happy in the comfort of my home in years' old pajamas, unkempt hair, and knowing that at least I get my wacky sense of humour. You want to add people into that mix, and suddenly it's anxiety, stress, paranoia, and a sudden feeling that I don't measure up. Pass.
I was still trying to figure out how I could artfully navigate through my seven weeks of Mental Pilates and be considered a successful graduate of the program while still being a social recluse when Andy moved on to the topic of being in control of processing one's emotions.
Control? I like control. Keep talking.
Alright, so we're processing emotions... we're not going to let ourselves be derailed by one negative thing... we're going to stay positive... and we're going to move on.
This is where I'd insert my equivalent to Andy's "that's all well and good... for a dog!" exclamation.
Clearly we oughtn't let one negative blip on our radar throw us into a ravine of melodrama, no. But how are we supposed to properly process the blip without dwelling on it for a moment (or more)? I like to over-analyze, it's true. Guilty. And yes, clearly over-analyzing can lead to these negative thought process cycles of which Andy speaks. "How did this argument with my sister really begin? Let's start by looking at our childhood together and pick out every bad thing that every happened; that'll provide answers!" Add a bottle of Jack to that internal dialogue and you've got yourself a party.
But sometimes I feel like Mental Pilates is telling us to do the polar opposite: "You got in a fight with your sister? Let it go! Move on! Love one another!" To which I want to dig my heels in the dirt and cry out, "hold on there just a moment! I want to talk about this! I need answers!" And thus enters the whiskey and the party phase.
Where's the happy medium? Can't we talk, process, maybe even dwell on negative occurrences in our lives in a responsible and self-educating manner without spiraling out of control? To simply turn the cheek and "move on," that feels like the "for a dog!" approach.
Can we learn to balance along the edge of the ravine -– neither falling in nor running away in the opposite direction (simply "moving on") like a dog chasing a Frisbee?
Wait, has this entire blog post been an over-analyzation dissecting and reconstructing over-analyzation?
Crap. Quick, someone throw a Frisbee.
Now, just to set a couple of facts straight:
1. In no way am I claiming to be flawless and lacking the need for personal improvements, keys to happiness, or an overall mental health extreme makeover.
2. In no way am I implying that Mental Pilates can't aid in personal improvements, provide keys to happiness, or help with mental health makeovers.
I'm just dubious as to whether Mental Pilates can do all of this for me. I'm a hard nut to crack. Emphasis on the term "nut."
The hairs on the back of my neck first started to prick up when Andy began speaking about community involvement, asserting that only when secured in a community and establishing social connections can we feel at ease. At ease?! With people around me? That's when I'm the least at ease.
I thrive in solitude. I don't judge me or the extra weight I'd like to lose; I don't need to wear a perfectly accessorized ensemble to impress myself; I don't need to say the wittiest statement to entertain myself; and I certainly don't need to go out of my way to accomplish X, Y, and Z in order to feel successful or brilliant. I'm happy in the comfort of my home in years' old pajamas, unkempt hair, and knowing that at least I get my wacky sense of humour. You want to add people into that mix, and suddenly it's anxiety, stress, paranoia, and a sudden feeling that I don't measure up. Pass.
I was still trying to figure out how I could artfully navigate through my seven weeks of Mental Pilates and be considered a successful graduate of the program while still being a social recluse when Andy moved on to the topic of being in control of processing one's emotions.
Control? I like control. Keep talking.
Alright, so we're processing emotions... we're not going to let ourselves be derailed by one negative thing... we're going to stay positive... and we're going to move on.
This is where I'd insert my equivalent to Andy's "that's all well and good... for a dog!" exclamation.
Clearly we oughtn't let one negative blip on our radar throw us into a ravine of melodrama, no. But how are we supposed to properly process the blip without dwelling on it for a moment (or more)? I like to over-analyze, it's true. Guilty. And yes, clearly over-analyzing can lead to these negative thought process cycles of which Andy speaks. "How did this argument with my sister really begin? Let's start by looking at our childhood together and pick out every bad thing that every happened; that'll provide answers!" Add a bottle of Jack to that internal dialogue and you've got yourself a party.
But sometimes I feel like Mental Pilates is telling us to do the polar opposite: "You got in a fight with your sister? Let it go! Move on! Love one another!" To which I want to dig my heels in the dirt and cry out, "hold on there just a moment! I want to talk about this! I need answers!" And thus enters the whiskey and the party phase.
Where's the happy medium? Can't we talk, process, maybe even dwell on negative occurrences in our lives in a responsible and self-educating manner without spiraling out of control? To simply turn the cheek and "move on," that feels like the "for a dog!" approach.
Can we learn to balance along the edge of the ravine -– neither falling in nor running away in the opposite direction (simply "moving on") like a dog chasing a Frisbee?
Wait, has this entire blog post been an over-analyzation dissecting and reconstructing over-analyzation?
Crap. Quick, someone throw a Frisbee.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
You say "health," I say "hokum."
As part of jump-starting my foray into Mental Pilates, I thought it best to visit Andy at his booth at the Health and Wellness Expo being held in town, support him in the nascent steps of his venture, show him that I was on-board, be there to provide my own brand of “atta-boy!,” love, good vibes, whatever. Plus I heard there was free stuff.
The first thing that struck me upon entering this tradeshow was that it was clear that not everyone was on the same page regarding the definitions of “health” and “wellness.” I hear “health and wellness,” and I think “multivitamins, exercising, and being forced into rehab against my will.” Clearly others at the expo were thinking “incense, magic rocks, chanting, and contacting the dead in order to get their take on the matter.”
To each their own, I strongly believe and support. However, what does this say about Mental Pilates?
I’ve always been on the fence regarding anything kool-aid-esque that promises serenity and well-being so long as I smile a lot and love thy neighbour and stop eating abused chickens. I entered into this arrangement of giving Mental Pilates a fair go of it, coming in with an open mind, but confirming that Andy’s mind was open as well – open to the acerbic sarcasm about to invade his life for the next seven or so weeks. We are each other’s Everests. So for me to find on day -1 that I’m being smacked with the scent of Nag Champa as I witness someone telling me I’ll lose weight by wearing a certain kind of ring on my finger, my kool-aid alarms are going off.
I’ll be fine; I have writing pithy editorials to vent my suspicions. But what about others like me? Does it make sense to advertize a mental health curriculum based on cognitive behavioural therapies and practical life-coaching theorems among a culture of alternative approaches widely disbelieved and mocked by the kool-aid intolerant? I may not be 100% on board with smiling and loving my neighbours, but I certainly wouldn’t group modern day psychology in the same category as tarot card readings.
But maybe that is the point? “To each their own” is the message to take away? The paranormal/alternative Health and Wellness crowd may not find themselves reading Psychology Today in the lobby of their mainstream health practitioner’s office. Comparing Mental Pilates to cognitive behavioural strategies may have these folks sounding their own version of Do Not Want alarms. By positioning himself as One of Them, perhaps Andy’s just doing his best to appeal to the widest spectrum possible.
Just so long as he’s also setting up booths in an incense-free, No Chanting Allowed, westernized conference next month, I’ll believe this is a case of brilliant marketing strategy as opposed to my cue to jump ship.
I’ll even forgive the fact that by the time I arrived, there was no more free stuff at the Expo. A real shame, too, as I’m often in the market for detox tea.
The first thing that struck me upon entering this tradeshow was that it was clear that not everyone was on the same page regarding the definitions of “health” and “wellness.” I hear “health and wellness,” and I think “multivitamins, exercising, and being forced into rehab against my will.” Clearly others at the expo were thinking “incense, magic rocks, chanting, and contacting the dead in order to get their take on the matter.”
To each their own, I strongly believe and support. However, what does this say about Mental Pilates?
I’ve always been on the fence regarding anything kool-aid-esque that promises serenity and well-being so long as I smile a lot and love thy neighbour and stop eating abused chickens. I entered into this arrangement of giving Mental Pilates a fair go of it, coming in with an open mind, but confirming that Andy’s mind was open as well – open to the acerbic sarcasm about to invade his life for the next seven or so weeks. We are each other’s Everests. So for me to find on day -1 that I’m being smacked with the scent of Nag Champa as I witness someone telling me I’ll lose weight by wearing a certain kind of ring on my finger, my kool-aid alarms are going off.
I’ll be fine; I have writing pithy editorials to vent my suspicions. But what about others like me? Does it make sense to advertize a mental health curriculum based on cognitive behavioural therapies and practical life-coaching theorems among a culture of alternative approaches widely disbelieved and mocked by the kool-aid intolerant? I may not be 100% on board with smiling and loving my neighbours, but I certainly wouldn’t group modern day psychology in the same category as tarot card readings.
But maybe that is the point? “To each their own” is the message to take away? The paranormal/alternative Health and Wellness crowd may not find themselves reading Psychology Today in the lobby of their mainstream health practitioner’s office. Comparing Mental Pilates to cognitive behavioural strategies may have these folks sounding their own version of Do Not Want alarms. By positioning himself as One of Them, perhaps Andy’s just doing his best to appeal to the widest spectrum possible.
Just so long as he’s also setting up booths in an incense-free, No Chanting Allowed, westernized conference next month, I’ll believe this is a case of brilliant marketing strategy as opposed to my cue to jump ship.
I’ll even forgive the fact that by the time I arrived, there was no more free stuff at the Expo. A real shame, too, as I’m often in the market for detox tea.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
A Point on a Continuum of Community!
Mental Pilates is a mental fitness program that I developed over the past 10 years. Tactically, it is an application of cognitive behavior therapy whereby skills are developed for "selecting" awareness that contribute to our health and wellbeing. Spiritually, it addresses your Core Identity, Purpose and Vision. I describe one's Core Identity as being a point in a continuum of communities (i.e. energy); we are comprised of many communities of cells, organs and systems that work together to serve our health and wellbeing, while we are simultaneously a member of many communities to which we contribute to their health and wellbeing. Mental Pilates is a practice for developing skills at eliciting vitality from our inner communities and feeling a sense of fulfillment from contributing to the wellbeing of our outer communities.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Working for the Vitality Security Agency (VSA)
I have had the pleasure of being in some fascinating conversations this weekend. For those involved, I offer a sincere thank you. What came up as an analogy was the concept of being your own TSA baggage screener as you see at airport security checkpoints. The luggage passing through the screener represent frames or snapshots of awareness that come into the focus of your mind's awareness. Our job is to "shop" through all the various frames of awareness to identify those that elicit the most vitality.
It's sort of like a Mario Brothers game where you are constantly screening the conveyor belt with different looking packages try to guess which one had the most points (points equal vitality) contained inside. Some frames elicit lots of points(vitality), even up to 100 units. Most frames are more mundane, less intense and have only of 1 to 5 units of vitality. Nagging habits can whittle away at your vitality cart and have negative values ranging -10 to -50. But wait, there are some frames of awareness that elicit fear, anxiety and anger. Those can be really, really intense and have devastating values of -50,000 units of vitality. The points are stored in your "shopping cart"; which, by the way, has a small leak in that requires constant filling.
I'm sure you recognize, right away that it will take long, sustained success in selecting frames of awareness that contribute towards one's feeling of fulfillment. A practice that will require on going success to keep up with the leak and is subject to the risk of selecting a frame that instantaneously drains your vitality cart, all together! And that's not the worst,with your vitality cart empty, doubt about your identity (i.e. who are you shopping for) and purpose (who's doing the shopping) creep into your awareness. It is very, very easy to let the drain of vitality get to the point where doubts grow to a point where they take control over the shopping process. Left unattended, this drain can all too quickly grow into a suffocating mountain of vitality debt, in which you are entombed in an emotional rabbit hole from which escape seems impossible.
These are the ground rules to the "app"; Life Mission. Life Mission serves as a sort of "Agency" within your mind that is charged with looking out for your own health and well being. Your Life's Mission is to organize and operate the Vitality Security Agency (VSA). This organization is responsible for both the process of "shopping" for frames of awareness as well as the results; i.e. the amount of vitality in your cart. Mental Pilates practice develops skill for successfully selecting vitality and achieving fulfillment (a sense you are playing the game well and experiencing success). The practice begins with answering the two most important questions of the game. First, who are you playing for? I can hear Bob Barker now say "Come on down, you've been selected to be the next contestant on.....Life Mission!!!! Well let's ask the new contestant; "Who are you playing for?" [Hint: it is your core identity]
The second question you must answer is "Who is going to be doing the shopping?" (i.e. who is driving the bus; or who is s"selecting" the frames of awareness) Answering this question is not as straight forward as it may appear on the surface. You see the VSA agent ca get tired and/or bored and let in all sorts of frames that do not necessarily contribute to the vitality cart. The VSA agent can take the day "off" leaving the security checkpoint all together. Even worse, your VSA agents can be taken over by raising doubts and insecurities. What were once mild lingering doubts can grow into monsters. In their worst form, they become limiting doubts. Limiting doubts are beliefs that have been reaffirmed so consistently that they have become hard and fast rules..."It's just the way I am!!!!""""
In these extreme cases your VSA screener has been tied up and tossed into the back room. The limiting doubts (your bears, your Bubba) have stripped you of your badge, identity card and uniform. They are doing the shopping, your conscious mind is not available (i.e.it's tied up at the moment) Bubba has no interest, whatsoever, in your health and well being. The mission of the VSA is being grossly compromised. With Bubba at the helm your doubts and worries are being fed 10 times a minute.
We will go on from here, but.....
Who are you playing for?
Who is doing the shopping?
Enjoy the rest of Sunday!!!
Andy
I'm sure you recognize, right away that it will take long, sustained success in selecting frames of awareness that contribute towards one's feeling of fulfillment. A practice that will require on going success to keep up with the leak and is subject to the risk of selecting a frame that instantaneously drains your vitality cart, all together! And that's not the worst,with your vitality cart empty, doubt about your identity (i.e. who are you shopping for) and purpose (who's doing the shopping) creep into your awareness. It is very, very easy to let the drain of vitality get to the point where doubts grow to a point where they take control over the shopping process. Left unattended, this drain can all too quickly grow into a suffocating mountain of vitality debt, in which you are entombed in an emotional rabbit hole from which escape seems impossible.
These are the ground rules to the "app"; Life Mission. Life Mission serves as a sort of "Agency" within your mind that is charged with looking out for your own health and well being. Your Life's Mission is to organize and operate the Vitality Security Agency (VSA). This organization is responsible for both the process of "shopping" for frames of awareness as well as the results; i.e. the amount of vitality in your cart. Mental Pilates practice develops skill for successfully selecting vitality and achieving fulfillment (a sense you are playing the game well and experiencing success). The practice begins with answering the two most important questions of the game. First, who are you playing for? I can hear Bob Barker now say "Come on down, you've been selected to be the next contestant on.....Life Mission!!!! Well let's ask the new contestant; "Who are you playing for?" [Hint: it is your core identity]
The second question you must answer is "Who is going to be doing the shopping?" (i.e. who is driving the bus; or who is s"selecting" the frames of awareness) Answering this question is not as straight forward as it may appear on the surface. You see the VSA agent ca get tired and/or bored and let in all sorts of frames that do not necessarily contribute to the vitality cart. The VSA agent can take the day "off" leaving the security checkpoint all together. Even worse, your VSA agents can be taken over by raising doubts and insecurities. What were once mild lingering doubts can grow into monsters. In their worst form, they become limiting doubts. Limiting doubts are beliefs that have been reaffirmed so consistently that they have become hard and fast rules..."It's just the way I am!!!!""""
In these extreme cases your VSA screener has been tied up and tossed into the back room. The limiting doubts (your bears, your Bubba) have stripped you of your badge, identity card and uniform. They are doing the shopping, your conscious mind is not available (i.e.it's tied up at the moment) Bubba has no interest, whatsoever, in your health and well being. The mission of the VSA is being grossly compromised. With Bubba at the helm your doubts and worries are being fed 10 times a minute.
We will go on from here, but.....
Who are you playing for?
Who is doing the shopping?
Enjoy the rest of Sunday!!!
Andy
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Today's Contribution Journal
I've been working hard all day trying to find a look and feel for the Mental Pilates brand. I have been working on this for years and years and not being a graphic designer has made it not even a hit or miss proposition, my efforts were more like a miss or miss proposition.
The challenge is on one hand the brand icon needs to reflect all of the hours of thought that underlies the Mental Pilates practice. On the other hand, the brand icon needs to be simple enough to stand out in a 16 x 16 pixel icon in your browser tabs or bookmarks. I have at least been consistent. Every attempt erred on the side of being way too complex. Many of you have lived through the Mental Pilates Lady with the tree in her head, the Mental Pilates guy that had slugs on the brain and many others that didn't even pass the wife & kids test. (Thank you wife and kids for your honest feedback) You see, since there is nobody in our immediate family that pretends to be a graphic artist most of the feedback was something like..."I don't like it. I can explain why I don't like it, but I can not recommend a solution."
But, it isn't how many times you get knocked down, it's how many times you get back up. Well today I tried another concept and showed it around, and low and behold, I waited and waited and it was OK!!! She liked it!! I do not think it will win a graphics design contest, but it doesn't seem to make people gag. Which for me is unprecedented progress. It also scales fairly nicely so it retains some meaning in the 16 x 16 pixel icon.
I am putting this front and center in my contribution journal. Check it out on the Mental Pilates website and here in the blog. There is still open debate on many details. For instance, what do people think about the "head" that is in the Blog header? Yes or no?
Any way, persistence pays off!! I hope. Let me know what you think.
Andy
The challenge is on one hand the brand icon needs to reflect all of the hours of thought that underlies the Mental Pilates practice. On the other hand, the brand icon needs to be simple enough to stand out in a 16 x 16 pixel icon in your browser tabs or bookmarks. I have at least been consistent. Every attempt erred on the side of being way too complex. Many of you have lived through the Mental Pilates Lady with the tree in her head, the Mental Pilates guy that had slugs on the brain and many others that didn't even pass the wife & kids test. (Thank you wife and kids for your honest feedback) You see, since there is nobody in our immediate family that pretends to be a graphic artist most of the feedback was something like..."I don't like it. I can explain why I don't like it, but I can not recommend a solution."
I am putting this front and center in my contribution journal. Check it out on the Mental Pilates website and here in the blog. There is still open debate on many details. For instance, what do people think about the "head" that is in the Blog header? Yes or no?
Any way, persistence pays off!! I hope. Let me know what you think.
Andy
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The Program to Fix My Atrophied Self
Sure I’ll do the Mental Pilates program, I’ll help, and it can’t hurt. I thought. Taking the VIA Strengths survey would be a good place to start, I thought. I know my skills, I’m highly skilled at many things, and this will help me focus, I thought. When I completed the survey my initial reaction was okay, good survey, its accurate.
It stated that these are my top 5 Character Strengths
1. Creativity, ingenuity
2. Hope optimism, future-mindedness
3. Curiosity Interest, novelty-seeking, openness to experience
4. Open-mindedness judgment
5. Perspective and wisdom
My next thought was “So what?” and then it hit me. There it was- exactly the problem that Mental Pilates can help me fix. I know my strengths and I want to utilize them in the next phase of my career. But there it was “So what?” I thought and I realized I’d let myself “go down the rabbit hole” and the swirling doubts were and it was suddenly blindingly obvious why I was having such a tough time even deciding which jobs to apply for, never mind following through on the applications if I could decide.
I used to know how to do this, and like many things in my life this came naturally to me, it wasn’t until I’d been pelted repeatedly in the snowball fight of life; and settled into an unstructured and unemployed day to day for months that stretched to years, that luckily I was asked to participate in this program, because it is abundantly clear that I not only need it, but it is exactly what I need to begin to gain back my atrophied confidence and vitality.
It stated that these are my top 5 Character Strengths
1. Creativity, ingenuity
2. Hope optimism, future-mindedness
3. Curiosity Interest, novelty-seeking, openness to experience
4. Open-mindedness judgment
5. Perspective and wisdom
My next thought was “So what?” and then it hit me. There it was- exactly the problem that Mental Pilates can help me fix. I know my strengths and I want to utilize them in the next phase of my career. But there it was “So what?” I thought and I realized I’d let myself “go down the rabbit hole” and the swirling doubts were and it was suddenly blindingly obvious why I was having such a tough time even deciding which jobs to apply for, never mind following through on the applications if I could decide.
I used to know how to do this, and like many things in my life this came naturally to me, it wasn’t until I’d been pelted repeatedly in the snowball fight of life; and settled into an unstructured and unemployed day to day for months that stretched to years, that luckily I was asked to participate in this program, because it is abundantly clear that I not only need it, but it is exactly what I need to begin to gain back my atrophied confidence and vitality.
we are wonderful
After tonight's inspiring session, I thought it would be fun if we all posted our strengths from the via survey. I think it would be fun to see what a talented and diverse team we have working on this project. As in Dave's earlier post about it takes 5, I think that the range of our talents is what is going to really bring this thing together. Comment away and lets celebrate the team!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Delivering value - quickly
Since our session last evening, my attention has been focused on Jim's observation that this practice must add noticeable value as soon as possible in order to retain interest. I couldn't agree with the sentiment more.
What has been confounding me is what to do about it. Just for the record, I am officially over my "trite" concerns. I am certain, beyond doubt, that the Mental Pilates practice continues to make significant changes in my own life. Changes beyond what I had imagined. My productivity is up, procrastination down, energy up, drinking down, vitality up, lethargy down. All good signs that I am becoming co-opted by my emotions less frequently, with less duration and intensity. When I get "tempted" by my bears, I have a go to place in my mind where I simply WILL NOT TOLERATE any negative sentiment being directed towards my Core Identity. I know that such sentiments are the work of my bears, which have no interest in MY health and wellbeing. I am absolutely certain that my Core Purpose is to nurture behaviors that elicit vitality!!!
Your mother's going to LOVE me; I have a special purpose!!! (movie reference "The Jerk")
Given this reality, the question becomes how do we deliver these benefits as quickly as possible? My reflection on this divides the prospective clients into the two camps. For those who are seeking "mental fitness" this practice should deliver early results, as Jim clearly articulated earlier in this blog. For those who are entangled in behaviors that have co-opted their own Core Identity; i.e. the bears have moved in to stay; the first milestone to strengthen their Core Identity. That is to drill home the fact that your core identity is NOT the bear. That the bear is an unwanted being who has taken you hostage; and your sick and tired of being the bear's bitch!! Gaining absolute clarity about your core identity and purpose IS the path to the tipping point where you can re-co-opt your awareness back from the bear and utilize that new found source of energy to kick its ass out of your life.
I am very interested in anybody's thoughts about how to reach that critical first milestone more effectively and efficiently.
My final thought on this subject is that the 7 skills in seven weeks webinar program is an Introductory Offer into the Mental Pilates practice. I do believe the skills can be "explained" in the seven week program, but just like learning to play a new musical instrument, an explanation is not sufficient. It requires practice, practice, practice in order to achieve mastery. Now I'm sure there will be those who are in such a situation that they may become frustrated with the rate of progress. This is why, in addition to this offer, I offer one-on-one coaching services. I have experience working with people to identify their Core Identity, their Core Purpose and a Vision that elicits vitality.
Andy
This Morning Before Dawn
I was on my way out to do other things, but this made me stop and create this image....a wonderfully peaceful way to begin the day :)
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Omnipresent Bear...
So, we can all agree there's an inner bear within all of us. Most bears have triggers that let them out of their cage. My bear? His name is Doubt and he doesn't play fair. He's invited himself into my life 24/7.
Doubt is fueled by the over thinking and over analyzing. He also likes to snack on second guessing and fear. Doubt decided to hunker down with me full time when I lost my job. At times, I'm distracted, and I can forget about his presence. But no matter, that bear, he's still there...
Ok, so he's not always trying to maul me. Some days, he's just gnawing at me and occasionally smacking me around with those enormous paws. But, I refuse to share my "den" with him forever. With the help of Mental Pilates, my goal is to put this bear into permanent hibernation.
Doubt is fueled by the over thinking and over analyzing. He also likes to snack on second guessing and fear. Doubt decided to hunker down with me full time when I lost my job. At times, I'm distracted, and I can forget about his presence. But no matter, that bear, he's still there...
Ok, so he's not always trying to maul me. Some days, he's just gnawing at me and occasionally smacking me around with those enormous paws. But, I refuse to share my "den" with him forever. With the help of Mental Pilates, my goal is to put this bear into permanent hibernation.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Oscillating in and out of vitality
Last week, Neil referenced a chart that I had shown him which made me curious to dig it up. It addresses the basic concept that it is unrealistic to strive to expressing vitality all the time; we are all going to experience moments when we get co-opted by emotion or are simply not feeling connected with one's vitality.
But, by becoming aware of our own sense of vitality, we can begin to keep a mental record of our own state of being. The Mental Pilates skills are designed to address our ability to deal with a unit of life experience, a transaction, if you will. What we focus upon is our reaction skills. How we react to life's events will determine the frequency, the duration and the intensity with which we "go down the rabbit hole" of being emotionally co-opted.
The reddish line in the diagram represents one path of charted vitality where one's natural flow of vitality becomes increasingly restricted, over a long period of time. The blue line illustrates the concept of achieving significant level of vitality and then developing skills for reacting that enable them to briefly oscillate out of a state of vitality and then return.
We all go down our own rabbit holes, from time to time; the question is how often, for how long and how deep do we want to go? Mental Pilates develops skills for maintaining control of our emotions, or at least not losing control for as long.
Andy
The reddish line in the diagram represents one path of charted vitality where one's natural flow of vitality becomes increasingly restricted, over a long period of time. The blue line illustrates the concept of achieving significant level of vitality and then developing skills for reacting that enable them to briefly oscillate out of a state of vitality and then return.
We all go down our own rabbit holes, from time to time; the question is how often, for how long and how deep do we want to go? Mental Pilates develops skills for maintaining control of our emotions, or at least not losing control for as long.
Andy
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Ease
I wanted to share an entry in my awareness journal that I made recently. As prompted by the homework I did a word montage about a moment at ease.
Walking dogs at Wadsworth Mansion in the snow that day in January. Laughing out loud at Lily. Gremlin. Ziggy pushing Lily into a snowbank. Boots creaking on snow. Crisp air. Cooling sensation down the trachea. Silence. Presence. Focus on dogs. Snow covered trees. Bright red berries popping out. Forced to watch my footing which keeps me in the moment. Heart pounding. In tune with nature. In love with Ziggy and Lily and loved back by them. Alive.
What moments are you guys using to redirect?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Day of Friendliness
A therapist I once had gave me an assignment to have "friendly Thursday" and for the whole day to smile or say hi to strangers, chat up people behind the counter, and basically to add a little light to each building I stepped into. It sounded pretty cheesy, but I liked this lady so I was determined to give it a go. Friendly Thursday ended up being one of the best days I experienced in awhile. In the spirit of this week's lesson, I challenge everyone to try out friendly Saturday this week and report back on our results.
Thinking back to that crazy diagram with the connected yellow and green dots from this week's deck, the potential for making the world a better place if we all do this together is intriguing. If at least one person we each interact with treats the next person they interact with a little better than they would then 21 people would be touched. And I think that is a pretty conservative estimate. Who's in?
Thinking back to that crazy diagram with the connected yellow and green dots from this week's deck, the potential for making the world a better place if we all do this together is intriguing. If at least one person we each interact with treats the next person they interact with a little better than they would then 21 people would be touched. And I think that is a pretty conservative estimate. Who's in?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
What's inside your core identity?
What I learned this morning is that patterns of behavior can become so dominant that it appears they are not only "with you" but actually are you. Using the bear analogy...it is not as if there is some trigger that initiates the process of your awareness getting co-opted by emotion; it is as if you simply live with the bear, day and night. When you wake-up, there's the bear; when you are driving, there's the bear; when you look in the mirror, there's the bear; at the dinner table, there's the bear...co-opting your awareness. The bear uses your awareness to feed itself all of the frames of evidence it needs to grow stronger and stronger. The bear has no interest in the health and well being of his "host"; the bear is only interested in its own survival. Overtime, the person being co-opted realizes that they no longer have a say in the matter and they resign to the fact that the bear's in charge. Who's driving the bus? That would be the bear, using your body and awareness to take a joy-ride through life.
The first skill in the Mental Pilates practice is to strengthen you core identity. What this means is removing any shred of doubt about your Core Identity and Purpose. You see, the common thread that enables all "bears" to exist is doubt. It is the doubt that one has about their own identity that the bear uses to co-opt your operation and move in. By strengthening your own Core Identity and Purpose to a point that is beyond doubt you create the possibility of separating the "bear" from your own identity. Once separation is achieved, then we can redirect any negativity that we had been feeling about our self towards the "bear" (i.e. pattern of behaviors). This is a milestone event, a tipping point, where you co-opt the energy back from the bear and use it to push the bear out of your picture. Hands on the wheel, you are back in the driver's seat!!!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Food for Thought
As we work on identifying and strengthening our core identity, this week we were asked to select a core identity icon, think of a time and place we experience vitality, and begin formulating our redirection procedure. At first this seemed like a big assignment, but I attacked it with my usual organized, break it into small steps anal approach! Pen in hand, I started to scribble, stopped to think, scribbled a bit more ... and suddenly a whole bunch of things fell into place.
My interpretation of "at ease" includes a fair amount of activity, as I seldom find myself just chilling. When I feel most at ease I am apt to be standing at the kitchen counter chopping a mound of vegetables. My most memorable childhood moments are those spent baking cookies with my grandmother. My Energy Channel is like the Food Network on steroids.
Last week I almost posted a blog under this same title, but the content related more to the importance of taking good care of our bodies as part of expressing unconditional love for ourselves. I even took pictures of the breakfast I served Andy that morning and was going to share the recipe with all. Doesn't it look yummy??
But then I chickened out and figured we didn't want to turn Mental Pilates into a food blog.
However, this is now legit! Part of my homework! I have identified a time and place I feel at ease and I have even identified an effective redirection procedure - one that I've used successfully many times in the past. When it's time to step away from a potentially negative situation, break out the chopping block!! Start dicing onions, peeling potatoes, chopping carrots, washing lettuce ... works for me!
And I even have a candidate core identity icon! I don't know if this is pushing it, but there's great vitality and symbolism in this icon for me!
Let me know if you want the smoothie recipe! :)
My interpretation of "at ease" includes a fair amount of activity, as I seldom find myself just chilling. When I feel most at ease I am apt to be standing at the kitchen counter chopping a mound of vegetables. My most memorable childhood moments are those spent baking cookies with my grandmother. My Energy Channel is like the Food Network on steroids.
Last week I almost posted a blog under this same title, but the content related more to the importance of taking good care of our bodies as part of expressing unconditional love for ourselves. I even took pictures of the breakfast I served Andy that morning and was going to share the recipe with all. Doesn't it look yummy??
But then I chickened out and figured we didn't want to turn Mental Pilates into a food blog.
However, this is now legit! Part of my homework! I have identified a time and place I feel at ease and I have even identified an effective redirection procedure - one that I've used successfully many times in the past. When it's time to step away from a potentially negative situation, break out the chopping block!! Start dicing onions, peeling potatoes, chopping carrots, washing lettuce ... works for me!
And I even have a candidate core identity icon! I don't know if this is pushing it, but there's great vitality and symbolism in this icon for me!
Let me know if you want the smoothie recipe! :)
Some of My Bears
A) My mind always scanning my body for weird symptoms which I then turn into anxiety which self escalates itself. I'm gettiong much better about being aware of this when it recurs and redirecting back to my core to hault this.
B) Fear that I'm not worthy to be a photography instructor. This one is a bit tougher but I am coming around to acknowledge that I am worthy and that I can do this.
C) Anger at home. Due to the rather stressful situation we've been dealing with these past 6 months with our son, daughter in law and their new baby living with us, I have realized that my mond is constantly on the defensive and scanning...looking for signals to tee off on. I have been becoming increasingly aware of when my mind is doing this and I'm becoming more adept at haulting that activity. When situations do arise, I now know that I can only control what I do and not what the actions of others are. In learning this, I become an observer, rather than being sucked in as a participant.
D) general fear of loosing our home since I'm unemployed. As I jhave been laid off and in a "trial modification" for some months with no formal paperwork in hand, I think it's safe to say that it is a truth that the worl could come calling and start foreclosure proceedings at any time, even though we are meeting our monthly modification commitments. This one really ate at me internally and of course affected a lot of what I did. Know what? If they take the house, they take it. It's just a big wooden box that in reality, we'd be better off without anyway given the economy and upside down state of the housing market. I realize that I don't need this box to live in to be happy! Actually, I'm waiting for someone in the group to start a commune so we can sign up :)
I have more and as I develop my awareness and redirection activities for them, I'll chat about this further.
B) Fear that I'm not worthy to be a photography instructor. This one is a bit tougher but I am coming around to acknowledge that I am worthy and that I can do this.
C) Anger at home. Due to the rather stressful situation we've been dealing with these past 6 months with our son, daughter in law and their new baby living with us, I have realized that my mond is constantly on the defensive and scanning...looking for signals to tee off on. I have been becoming increasingly aware of when my mind is doing this and I'm becoming more adept at haulting that activity. When situations do arise, I now know that I can only control what I do and not what the actions of others are. In learning this, I become an observer, rather than being sucked in as a participant.
D) general fear of loosing our home since I'm unemployed. As I jhave been laid off and in a "trial modification" for some months with no formal paperwork in hand, I think it's safe to say that it is a truth that the worl could come calling and start foreclosure proceedings at any time, even though we are meeting our monthly modification commitments. This one really ate at me internally and of course affected a lot of what I did. Know what? If they take the house, they take it. It's just a big wooden box that in reality, we'd be better off without anyway given the economy and upside down state of the housing market. I realize that I don't need this box to live in to be happy! Actually, I'm waiting for someone in the group to start a commune so we can sign up :)
I have more and as I develop my awareness and redirection activities for them, I'll chat about this further.
A Change The Past 2 Weeks
While I haven't been actively participating on the blog since I've been busy with myriad of things, I have been paying attention and practicing the MP Philosophy...or at least what I know of it at this point and have found a change within me.
First, let me state that I have two major "bears" in my closet...
A) A predisposition (both biological and learned) to anxiety.
B) Procrastination...which I've always reasoned is OK since I work well with working "under fire" when I finally need to get off my ass and get things done.
What I've found is as follows:
While I haven't been physically keeping an "awareness journal" I have been doing so mentally and I'd argue the point that it works just fine. While it does not give me a documented data base which I could go back and sort to look for patterns, it has made me increasingly aware of what my triggers are on the negative side and what the good things are that go on in my life. It's almost like learning to ride a bike or swing a tennis racket...it becomes an innate activity. What I've found is that I am able to recognize my anxiety triggers (typically they are physical sensations of something being wrong which I brood about, thereby causing more anxiety to the point of having to escape with Xanax to control them). In recognizing them at their onset, I now accept them for what they are and redirect my awareness by retreating momentarily to a place where I'm always "at ease".....that being on the beach, with a breeze blowing, the terns riding the winds and the dune grasses swaying. It's a visualization that at current, works every time. rather than doing Xanax daily, by redirecting, I've only had to do so once now in the past week and a half. Definitely a big improvement for me, especially as it's now becoming second nature.
As far as the procrastination issue, this one os a bit more of a bear for me, especially since I'm laid off and a sense of direction is hard to come by....as is knowing what darn day of the week it is! I've actually spent time internally, quasi redirecting my thoughts toward what I want to do with my life going forward. While I still don't know if it's totally feasible, I have taught myself that I am a good photographer, that I do have something to offer and that I do have the kills to organize and teach others the art of landscape and nature photography and actually begin to make a living from it. This is where I need to refine my love for myself and my abilities and put them to a practical use in my life. I will be giving a 1 hour lecture at MA Audubon on 3/10 and that will be my sort of "coming out" party (stop laughing), where I will formally announce that I'll be giving individual and group lessons, seminars, etc. I now need to get a blog going, restructure or create a new web site (organized no less), and make this real.
Also, one thing I've always wanted to do is natural light nude photography (no..I don't want to be standing out in the sun naked taking pictures...I want to create classy images of others). Always wanted to so it and I realize that I need to get off my butt, get some instruction and see if I can't incorporate this into my photography repertoire as it will really feed my artistic cravings and they are a large part of who I am.
I've also realized or affirmed my prior knowledge that I procrastinate about a lot of things. When I catch myself sliding down that slope now, I step back for a moment, redirect and don't allow myself to get off track. It's not perfect yet, but it is getting a whole lot better :)
So...that's where I am. A little unorthodox relative to the MP structure outline, but I have to be honest and say that the entire philosophy has had a positive effect in just a few short weeks.
First, let me state that I have two major "bears" in my closet...
A) A predisposition (both biological and learned) to anxiety.
B) Procrastination...which I've always reasoned is OK since I work well with working "under fire" when I finally need to get off my ass and get things done.
What I've found is as follows:
While I haven't been physically keeping an "awareness journal" I have been doing so mentally and I'd argue the point that it works just fine. While it does not give me a documented data base which I could go back and sort to look for patterns, it has made me increasingly aware of what my triggers are on the negative side and what the good things are that go on in my life. It's almost like learning to ride a bike or swing a tennis racket...it becomes an innate activity. What I've found is that I am able to recognize my anxiety triggers (typically they are physical sensations of something being wrong which I brood about, thereby causing more anxiety to the point of having to escape with Xanax to control them). In recognizing them at their onset, I now accept them for what they are and redirect my awareness by retreating momentarily to a place where I'm always "at ease".....that being on the beach, with a breeze blowing, the terns riding the winds and the dune grasses swaying. It's a visualization that at current, works every time. rather than doing Xanax daily, by redirecting, I've only had to do so once now in the past week and a half. Definitely a big improvement for me, especially as it's now becoming second nature.
As far as the procrastination issue, this one os a bit more of a bear for me, especially since I'm laid off and a sense of direction is hard to come by....as is knowing what darn day of the week it is! I've actually spent time internally, quasi redirecting my thoughts toward what I want to do with my life going forward. While I still don't know if it's totally feasible, I have taught myself that I am a good photographer, that I do have something to offer and that I do have the kills to organize and teach others the art of landscape and nature photography and actually begin to make a living from it. This is where I need to refine my love for myself and my abilities and put them to a practical use in my life. I will be giving a 1 hour lecture at MA Audubon on 3/10 and that will be my sort of "coming out" party (stop laughing), where I will formally announce that I'll be giving individual and group lessons, seminars, etc. I now need to get a blog going, restructure or create a new web site (organized no less), and make this real.
Also, one thing I've always wanted to do is natural light nude photography (no..I don't want to be standing out in the sun naked taking pictures...I want to create classy images of others). Always wanted to so it and I realize that I need to get off my butt, get some instruction and see if I can't incorporate this into my photography repertoire as it will really feed my artistic cravings and they are a large part of who I am.
I've also realized or affirmed my prior knowledge that I procrastinate about a lot of things. When I catch myself sliding down that slope now, I step back for a moment, redirect and don't allow myself to get off track. It's not perfect yet, but it is getting a whole lot better :)
So...that's where I am. A little unorthodox relative to the MP structure outline, but I have to be honest and say that the entire philosophy has had a positive effect in just a few short weeks.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Question to the crowd
As we have learned, it all comes down to steering. Being unconscious is bad. Unconscious thought patterns are bringing us down.
What I want to ask the group is: can we drift unconsciously through life with rose colored glasses? And if we can is that bad?
Bears Bears Bears
In class we have been learning how to spot metaphorical bears, but some of the advice in this clip seemed strangely relevant. Especially the opening phrase "In order to survive, you must choose wisely".
Anyway in the discussion last night, Andy asked us to brainstorm some "Have you evers" that would help us identify with the idea. Here are mine and I encourage you to add yours as a comment so we get some of that interactivity that makes blogging so fabulous.
Have you ever....
- Powered through your day without taking anything in?
- Woke up on the proverbial "wrong side of the bed" and then been stuck there all day?
- Looked at someone and thought, "why can't I be that vibrant?"
I can't wait to hear everyone else's ideas!
Namaste,
Sarah
It Takes 5...
I am the consummate hoops junkie so I was determined to come up with a basketball analogy for this blog. "It takes 5" was a saying made popular by famous basketball players in a Adidas commercial a few years ago. While the commercial at its core was meant to sell sneakers, the meaning of the saying carrries a greater message. During game play, there are 5 players on the court for each team. While the stars in the commercial are shown independently of their teammates, each one is quick to acknowlegde that "It takes 5", or "It is not me solely that makes the team successful but all five acting in unison on the court."
It seems like a logical concept. Work as a team, play as a team and we all have a greater chance to succeed. Is it time for all of us to take a 20 (20 second timeout) and think more about "It takes 5?"...
It seems like a logical concept. Work as a team, play as a team and we all have a greater chance to succeed. Is it time for all of us to take a 20 (20 second timeout) and think more about "It takes 5?"...
Feeding the Bears!
Last night was wonderful. Thank you for being engaged in this conversation.
Many, many thoughts were stimulated from our conversation. Sarah and I had a follow-up discussion about the differences between emotions and states. She pointed out that emotions were ephemeral (I think this means fleeting) where as states were more permanent. I shared my belief that states are merely emotions that have been repeated, over and over. I believe vitality is an emotion, that if repeated consistently, leads to a state of euphoria.
This lead me to another observation. Last night someone asked the question "So, I shouldn't think of myself as being fat?" I have reflected on this statement all night long and I feel the insights gained are very useful, for everyone. I often use the analogy of a truck being stuck in the mud is still just a truck; which happens to be caught in the mud at the moment, but its core identity is that it is a truck. In this case a person happens to be caught in a behavior pattern that caused weight gain. While it may or may not be true that a person is overweight; using the "fat" label to identify oneself is reinforcing the behavior. Just as the person who likes dogs seeks out evidence to validate their belief, someone who has labeled themselves as "fat" seeks out evidence that validates this rule that they believe to be true. As they "catch" oneself indulging in the fat producing behavior they select that frame and observe "That's just the way I am!" This process of "feeding the bears" goes on until the belief becomes a hard and fast rule, a label that we associate with our core identity.
The objective of the Mental Pilates practice is to create separation between one's core identity and the patterns of frames --> thoughts --> moods --> dispositions --> beliefs --> rules that have formed through your life experience. By recognizing that "fat" is an attribute of the behavior pattern rather than an attribute of yourself you create an opportunity. You see, this "fat' theme needs awareness to persist and thrive. Every time you look in the mirror and label yourself as "fat" you are reinforcing the theme. The opportunity lies in re-associating the "fat" label with the behavior pattern. This re-association allows you to direct your disdain towards the behavior, and away from oneself. You can break the back of that behavior pattern by putting it on your redirection list!!!! Do not feed that pattern any frames of awareness. Redirect your awareness towards activities that elicit vitality. That is what the awareness journaling is all about; letting the behavior patterns emerge, be labeled and recognized as promoters or inhibitors of vitality.
I struggled for years with excessive drinking. It got in the way of my life and was clearly not making me happy. Ever time I swore off drinking, I failed. Sometimes it would take weeks and sometimes just days, but every time I failed. My attention was directed towards my drinking, which only reinforced more drinking. I stayed in a loop of drinking, kicking myself for drinking and then kicking my self for not being strong enough to quit. This pattern persisted for years. My success in dramatically reducing the amount I drink has come from focusing on all of the other things in life that I love to do - way more than sitting on the couch and drinking. I love working on my Mental Pilates practice, I love reading, I love giving massages, I love being clear headed so that I can be more productive. By filling up my awareness shopping list with things I love to do that elicits vitality; I broke the back of the behavior pattern that was not contributing towards the flow of vitality. I still drink, but not in a way that inhibits my vitality.
Also, beware! The bears are tricky, and hungry...they will resort to all sorts of tactics to get their next meal!!!!
Andy
Many, many thoughts were stimulated from our conversation. Sarah and I had a follow-up discussion about the differences between emotions and states. She pointed out that emotions were ephemeral (I think this means fleeting) where as states were more permanent. I shared my belief that states are merely emotions that have been repeated, over and over. I believe vitality is an emotion, that if repeated consistently, leads to a state of euphoria.
This lead me to another observation. Last night someone asked the question "So, I shouldn't think of myself as being fat?" I have reflected on this statement all night long and I feel the insights gained are very useful, for everyone. I often use the analogy of a truck being stuck in the mud is still just a truck; which happens to be caught in the mud at the moment, but its core identity is that it is a truck. In this case a person happens to be caught in a behavior pattern that caused weight gain. While it may or may not be true that a person is overweight; using the "fat" label to identify oneself is reinforcing the behavior. Just as the person who likes dogs seeks out evidence to validate their belief, someone who has labeled themselves as "fat" seeks out evidence that validates this rule that they believe to be true. As they "catch" oneself indulging in the fat producing behavior they select that frame and observe "That's just the way I am!" This process of "feeding the bears" goes on until the belief becomes a hard and fast rule, a label that we associate with our core identity.
The objective of the Mental Pilates practice is to create separation between one's core identity and the patterns of frames --> thoughts --> moods --> dispositions --> beliefs --> rules that have formed through your life experience. By recognizing that "fat" is an attribute of the behavior pattern rather than an attribute of yourself you create an opportunity. You see, this "fat' theme needs awareness to persist and thrive. Every time you look in the mirror and label yourself as "fat" you are reinforcing the theme. The opportunity lies in re-associating the "fat" label with the behavior pattern. This re-association allows you to direct your disdain towards the behavior, and away from oneself. You can break the back of that behavior pattern by putting it on your redirection list!!!! Do not feed that pattern any frames of awareness. Redirect your awareness towards activities that elicit vitality. That is what the awareness journaling is all about; letting the behavior patterns emerge, be labeled and recognized as promoters or inhibitors of vitality.
I struggled for years with excessive drinking. It got in the way of my life and was clearly not making me happy. Ever time I swore off drinking, I failed. Sometimes it would take weeks and sometimes just days, but every time I failed. My attention was directed towards my drinking, which only reinforced more drinking. I stayed in a loop of drinking, kicking myself for drinking and then kicking my self for not being strong enough to quit. This pattern persisted for years. My success in dramatically reducing the amount I drink has come from focusing on all of the other things in life that I love to do - way more than sitting on the couch and drinking. I love working on my Mental Pilates practice, I love reading, I love giving massages, I love being clear headed so that I can be more productive. By filling up my awareness shopping list with things I love to do that elicits vitality; I broke the back of the behavior pattern that was not contributing towards the flow of vitality. I still drink, but not in a way that inhibits my vitality.
Andy
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Awareness Journal
I became aware of a bear! By bear, I am referring to one of the slides from the last webinar when the little smiley face only saw bears in the rainbow shaped film strip over his head. I have discovered that I sometimes attend to little messes in my environment in lieu of the things that matter. Unlike the bear though, I have never been chased by a mess, and it is very unlikely that one will ever eat me for dinner. This means that it probably isn't worthy of my focus more than anything else going on. This is where choosing frames will be so key! I am eager to keep working on it!
Practice what you preach
Our session last Thursday evening may not have gone as planned for all participants, but it provided me with a first hand look at Mental Pilates in action!
We found ourselves getting into a circular discussion that soon threatened to compromise our ability to get through the entire evening's agenda. I could see that Andy was getting frustrated when the worst possible thing happened - serious technical difficulties!! With his computer frozen beyond any normal recovery, Andy was forced to power down, which we now knows means an abrupt end to all WebEx audio and video for all! :(
Ruh roh. Two days worth of preparation, high hopes and grand expectations dashed by an interrupted signal. But what is that about interrupted signals?? Time to sound the alarm!!
I witnessed Andy interrupt his awareness and begin to redirect any negative emotion on a path to regaining control. He began by breathing consciously for a few moments and I suspect he was reciting his core identity internally. Perhaps reciting something like, "Don't mistake failing with 'I am a failure." Not all goes as planned, sometimes for good reason! Next he took steps to insure his awareness was redirected. He got up and accomplished something positive and helpful - he emptied the dishwasher!! Then he picked up his mandolin and played some of his favorite Dead tunes with gusto. (Yes, Dead tunes on the mando, not bluegrass in this house!)
When we sat down to dinner a short while later, we enjoyed a calm and constructive conversation. He was already formulating revisions to his introduction to address the points that seemingly got us off track. What could have been an entire evening or more of being sucked into a downward spiral instead produced a very cool tweak to make the message more clear from the outset. I'm looking forward to seeing the new and improved version during our next session and look forward to sharing the experience with the team!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
New Framework Ramble
It never ceases to amaze me how much applying a framework to an activity creates a new perspective-- so far in the short time I've been integrating the MP framework into my thoughts and trying to apply them to action, I'm reminded of my virtues and my foibles, but the perspective that MP has given me, even in the brief time I've been trying to "live it" renews my optimism, while also reinvigorating so many brain cells I thought I'd let go of-- good and bad-- just like with physical exercise no-pain no-gain--
P.S. This post makes me think: "The punctuation is all wrong" "the readers will think this is stupid" "I am supposed to post" "No shortcuts" "Is it better to be silent and have everyone think I'm a fool or remove all doubt by posting" "Set an example" "It's not perfect" "It's Perfect"
P.S. This post makes me think: "The punctuation is all wrong" "the readers will think this is stupid" "I am supposed to post" "No shortcuts" "Is it better to be silent and have everyone think I'm a fool or remove all doubt by posting" "Set an example" "It's not perfect" "It's Perfect"
The Power of Persistence
That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Starting any new behavior isn’t always easy. How many New Years have come and gone where your “resolution” barely lasted through the BCS bowl games?
In my experience, it takes more time than you think to ingrain habits or at least make them your go-to unconscious choice more often than not. Of course it depends on the person and the habit, but consensus seems to be that it takes at least 21 days and even upwards of two months to really instill a new habit. I think that’s why we see programs like Dr. Andrew Weil’s 8 Weeks to Optimum Health prescribing that amount of time to successfully adopt new habits and behaviors.
To some, that may seem like a long time or a big commitment. That’s where the power of persistence comes in. You need to give yourself the time it takes and the time you deserve. Take advantage of tools like writing down your goals and journaling or surrounding yourself with a community that shares your enthusiasm and provides support. But stick to the program as best you can for the prescribed amount of time and you will be truly surprised to learn that Emerson is right!
One year ago next week I decided it was time to make a few changes. With both of my parents battling cancer, I knew I had no time to waste if I wanted to mitigate my chances of going down that same road. I always hated exercise, but I knew it was good for me and I should learn to enjoy it. I decided that I needed to focus my excellent cooking skills on making more healthy dishes from real food, not baking cookies or casseroles. I’d be lying if I said it was easy or all fun. But I was persistent, never gave up, stayed true to my goals. Wrote down what I ate, wrote down when I moved my body … One year later, I genuinely crave a healthy salad or a bowl of fresh fruit. I feel like I’m missing something if I don’t’ get some exercise every day. I’ve lost the equivalent of our dog Roxie on the scale and am able to snowshoe three miles without breaking a sweat – and love it!
Just give it time, be persistent.
Starting any new behavior isn’t always easy. How many New Years have come and gone where your “resolution” barely lasted through the BCS bowl games?
In my experience, it takes more time than you think to ingrain habits or at least make them your go-to unconscious choice more often than not. Of course it depends on the person and the habit, but consensus seems to be that it takes at least 21 days and even upwards of two months to really instill a new habit. I think that’s why we see programs like Dr. Andrew Weil’s 8 Weeks to Optimum Health prescribing that amount of time to successfully adopt new habits and behaviors.
To some, that may seem like a long time or a big commitment. That’s where the power of persistence comes in. You need to give yourself the time it takes and the time you deserve. Take advantage of tools like writing down your goals and journaling or surrounding yourself with a community that shares your enthusiasm and provides support. But stick to the program as best you can for the prescribed amount of time and you will be truly surprised to learn that Emerson is right!
One year ago next week I decided it was time to make a few changes. With both of my parents battling cancer, I knew I had no time to waste if I wanted to mitigate my chances of going down that same road. I always hated exercise, but I knew it was good for me and I should learn to enjoy it. I decided that I needed to focus my excellent cooking skills on making more healthy dishes from real food, not baking cookies or casseroles. I’d be lying if I said it was easy or all fun. But I was persistent, never gave up, stayed true to my goals. Wrote down what I ate, wrote down when I moved my body … One year later, I genuinely crave a healthy salad or a bowl of fresh fruit. I feel like I’m missing something if I don’t’ get some exercise every day. I’ve lost the equivalent of our dog Roxie on the scale and am able to snowshoe three miles without breaking a sweat – and love it!
Just give it time, be persistent.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
ponderings...
Last night in our class, Andy explained awareness as being able to see all that's possible rather than being narrowed by past experiences. As his daughter, I have heard this all many times before, but this time it struck me in a new way. Who knows perhaps it was the new intro :)
Anyways I found myself wondering if you are aware aka open to everything does that mean that included in your scope are all the ways you can be annoyed/all the things that are wrong. Does being open to everything really mean seeing it all and choosing to be happy? Seems exhausting at first. In some ways it would be easier to just tune all the negative out, but I guess that isn't compatible with pure presence.
Lets break it down in an example. Say I walk into the kitchen....what to you would be the ideal way of being aware?
A- Smells good in here, I wonder what's for dinner. Begin looking in the fridge and start cooking.
B- My roommate left dirty dishes in the sink. It smells good in here. Begin looking in the fridge and start cooking.
Okay so the example really oversimplfies, but I guess what I am asking is are you supposed to take in the dirty dishes or just proceed as if they are invisible? Is the victory in ignoring the negative or in deciding not to let it effect you?
Anyways I found myself wondering if you are aware aka open to everything does that mean that included in your scope are all the ways you can be annoyed/all the things that are wrong. Does being open to everything really mean seeing it all and choosing to be happy? Seems exhausting at first. In some ways it would be easier to just tune all the negative out, but I guess that isn't compatible with pure presence.
Lets break it down in an example. Say I walk into the kitchen....what to you would be the ideal way of being aware?
A- Smells good in here, I wonder what's for dinner. Begin looking in the fridge and start cooking.
B- My roommate left dirty dishes in the sink. It smells good in here. Begin looking in the fridge and start cooking.
Okay so the example really oversimplfies, but I guess what I am asking is are you supposed to take in the dirty dishes or just proceed as if they are invisible? Is the victory in ignoring the negative or in deciding not to let it effect you?
Why Strengthening Core Identity is the Foundation of the Practice
The Mental Pilates Foundation
Strengthening your Core identity is the foundation of the Mental Pilates practice and, as such, it can not be emphasized enough. We all have a story about who we are in our mind. I refer to this story as our "theme". But for me, and I believe nearly everyone else, it isn't really quite that simple. You see, I have many themes about who I am going on in my head. I have the theme that I like to believe most of the time; that I am a smart, hard-working, creative person trying to make a difference in the world. But I also have other themes lurking, call them sneaking suspicions or lingering doubts about who I am. These are such things that I am a procrastinator, lazy, someone others do not believe in, etc. There are times when these "competing" themes about who I am latch on to "frames" of supporting evidence and, for some amount of time, become the dominant theme of who I believe myself to be. As I described in an earlier blog entry, it is as if there is a horse race among the competing themes and the one in front has an unfair advantage as it scoops up all of the frames it needs to maintain the lead.
The underlying purpose of strengthening your core identity is to realize that these "themes" are just behavior patterns that are struggling to survive within your own head. They are not looking out for your own well being, they are looking out for their own existence. These competing stories (themes) about who you are need evidence to survive and when they latch on to such evidence it often gets greatly magnified into some dramatic, declarative statement such as "See, that's just the way I am!!!" As long as there is a fragment of doubt about your true core identity these competing "themes" will exploit your self-doubt to their own advantage.
So, the purpose of the Core Identity, values and purpose statements are to remove any lingering doubt about who you are and your purpose for being. You are not any of these stories (themes), good or bad, that compete with one another for your awareness. Your Identity is at a lower level of existence, your inner Core. Beneath your habits, beliefs and rules is a being that has needs, abilities and a purpose; which is to foster, shepard, root for patterns that elicit vitality and provide fulfillment. Becoming absolutely certain of this identity gives you a rock solid foundation, an unwavering confidence. This crystal clear clarity is the foundation because when one of the "themes" starts a feeding frenzy and attempts co-opt your awareness it is clarity that overrides the doubt; and enables you to redirect your awareness back to the known truth that you are not any of these competing "themes". No matter what type of "rhetoric" flies through your head, you can see it as the desperate attempt of a theme attempting to perpetuate it's own existence. That is why strengthen core identity is the foundation of the Mental Pilates practice.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The inner geek
My cell (I use an iPhone) is really my lifeline to the outside world. Like everyone else, I use it (for better or worse) to stay connected with friends and family. Since it's a smartphone (and I'm a recovering techie), I use it for everything including email, calendaring, photos, music, note-taking, reading, lists, news, shopping, directions, etc.It's with me all the time so the iPhone was the obvious choice for me to get the MP content in my face. To that end, I've created a 'Practice' page in the Notes app and pasted all of the core statements there. That way I can review, modify and ponder anytime (except when I'm driving of course).
And since I'm Buddha-curious, I'm using this image as my phone's wallpaper to remind me to stay on the path.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Reflecting on the Homework
This week we were supposed to surround ourselves with our core identity statement and as you could see from my earlier post I did this with enthusiasm. As I stare at the words ever so carefully sharpied across my special paper, I realize that my method left them etched in stone in a way. I am not a digital kind of girl, I really prefer pens, the process of writing, and an artful display, but it makes modification a bit harder. I know we talked about editing these statements in the weeks to come so that they better fit our individual personalities and I can't help but feel that I have wasted my special paper too soon. I think that spiritually, it was quite useful to fully invest in step one. So perhaps it wasn't a waste, but this reveals on advantage of using the Mental Pilates google desktop or some other digital media.
I for one still love my display and am going to reflect how to build on it without tearing down the foundation. Post-its perhaps?
I for one still love my display and am going to reflect how to build on it without tearing down the foundation. Post-its perhaps?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Couples Identity
During the extensive period that the Mental Pilates practice was being developed, Andy and I would discuss the practice from the perspective of a couple - what is our core identity, values, purpose, etc. as a couple? I drew the following icon representing our core and the original hangs on the wall over my desk.
A good spot to add my personal statements, perhaps?
A good spot to add my personal statements, perhaps?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
