I wanted to take a moment to expound upon a concept brought up during Tuesday's webinar: Andy thinks there are no "bad" core qualities? Hold the phone...
I'm not here to assert how we inherit our intrinsic values -- be it genetic predispositions, the tabula rasa affected by environmental factors, or a horned god with a magic wand. But regardless of which way you slice it, there's good and bad.
If you'd like to make the argument that I was born with an intrinsic creative side, why can't we also say that I was born with an intrinsic antisocial side?
Likewise if you're batting for the nurture over nature, just as I've developed psychological patterns to make me a humourous person, so too have I developed psychological patterns to make me want to throw walnuts at my neighbours when they park in my spot.
And the horned god argument, well... maybe he's more of a wild card.
But there's a balance, a yin and a yang. The same sources that make us loving people (whether it's genes, upbringing, or celestial pixie dust) have the same ability to make us untrusting or selfish.
Granted I don't think we need to harp on these negative aspects or use them as excuses for bad behaviour (gee, I'm sorry I threw that walnut through your windshield, Shayla, but I was born with deeply territorial instincts; now move your car), but I do think we need to acknowledge that they exist.
If you don't, I'm going back to my original assertion that I'll just say that all of my positive qualities are core qualities and the bad stuff is junk labeling; don't make a cheater out of me!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
To be perfectly clear, I am in no way saying that there are not "bad" patterns that develop in everyone's lives. In as much as my definition of "bad" is a pattern that is not contributing towards one's health and wellbeing.
ReplyDeleteMy definition of "Core Identity" would not have you place either the good patterns or the bad patterns into your core. My assertion is that one's "Core Identity" is something at a lower level then any of the patterns that you have developed, good or bad. Your core identity is the piece of you that is unconditionally rooting for your health and wellbeing.
The challenge for humans is that the intensity with which we feel the emotions of fear and anxiety often push their "frames" to the top of our awareness shopping list. The result is that we live a life avoiding what we fear rather than pursuing that which elicits vitality. If left unchecked, these patterns can persist into limiting beliefs such as being an intrinsically antisocial.
And while we are on the subject of sociability, I do not believe Mental Pilates encourages or discourages sociability. While Mental Pilates clearly recognizes that social connection is a literal gold mine of opportunity for discovering purpose, meaning and fulfillment; it is not a gold mine suited for everyone.
There are some whose vision that elicits vitality does not include a great deal of interaction with others. They may be so driven by a personal passion for writing, playing an instrument or discovering a cure for cancer that they simply do not find the time for frivolous interaction with others. But the key here is that these people are antisocial because it is how they best stoke their sense of vitality (feeling alive and engaged) and fulfillment (making progress towards some future vision).
So there you have it, if your antisocial drive is rooted in your passion for living, you go girl; but if the roots of your antisocial behavior are fear or anxiety then maybe your emotions have been dis-proportionally elevating these fears to the top of your awareness shopping list.