Feeding the Bears!

Last night was wonderful.  Thank you for being engaged in this conversation.

Many, many thoughts were stimulated from our conversation.  Sarah and I had a follow-up discussion about the differences between emotions and states.  She pointed out that emotions were ephemeral (I think this means fleeting) where as states were more permanent.  I shared my belief that states are merely emotions that have been repeated, over and over.  I believe vitality is an emotion, that if repeated consistently, leads to a state of euphoria.

This lead me to another observation.  Last night someone asked the question "So, I shouldn't think of myself as being fat?"  I have reflected on this statement all night long and I feel the insights gained are very useful, for everyone.  I often use the analogy of a truck being stuck in the mud is still just a truck; which happens to be caught in the mud at the moment, but its core identity is that it is a truck.  In this case a person happens to be caught in a behavior pattern that caused weight gain.  While it may or may not be true that a person is overweight; using the "fat" label to identify oneself is reinforcing the behavior.  Just as the person who likes dogs seeks out evidence to validate their belief, someone who has labeled themselves as "fat" seeks out evidence that validates this rule that they believe to be true.  As they "catch" oneself indulging in the fat producing behavior they select that frame and observe "That's just the way I am!"  This process of "feeding the bears" goes on until the belief becomes a hard and fast rule, a label that we associate with our core identity.

The objective of the Mental Pilates practice is to create separation between one's core identity and the patterns of frames --> thoughts --> moods --> dispositions --> beliefs --> rules that have formed through your life experience.  By recognizing that "fat" is an attribute of the behavior pattern rather than an attribute of yourself you create an opportunity.  You see, this "fat' theme needs awareness to persist and thrive.  Every time you look in the mirror and label yourself as "fat" you are reinforcing the theme.  The opportunity lies in re-associating the "fat" label with the behavior pattern.  This re-association allows you to direct your disdain towards the behavior, and away from oneself.  You can break the back of that behavior pattern by putting it on your redirection list!!!!  Do not feed that pattern any frames of awareness.  Redirect your awareness towards activities that elicit vitality.  That is what the awareness journaling is all about; letting the behavior patterns emerge, be labeled and recognized as promoters or inhibitors of vitality.

I struggled for years with excessive drinking.  It got in the way of my life and was clearly not making me happy.  Ever time I swore off drinking, I failed.  Sometimes it would take weeks and sometimes just days, but every time I failed.  My attention was directed  towards my drinking, which only reinforced more drinking. I stayed in a loop of drinking, kicking myself for drinking and then kicking my self for not being strong enough to quit.  This pattern persisted for years.  My success in dramatically reducing the amount I drink has come from focusing on all of the other things in life that I love to do - way more than sitting on the couch and drinking.  I love working on my Mental Pilates practice, I love reading, I love giving massages, I love being clear headed so that I can be more productive.  By filling up my awareness shopping list with things I love to do that elicits vitality; I broke the back of the behavior pattern that was not contributing towards the flow of vitality.  I still drink, but not in a way that inhibits my vitality.

Also, beware!  The bears are tricky, and hungry...they will resort to all sorts of tactics to get their next meal!!!!

Andy